“When he was finished, he said he knew where I lived and that if I told anyone, he’d come for me. I believed him. Even after I moved to a new house, I still thought he had some way of finding me. I never stopped looking over my shoulder after that. Even today, I keep looking over my shoulder expecting to see him.” I let out an ugly laugh. “I keep expecting to see him even though I have no fucking clue what he looks like. Even after all these years, the smell of lemons makes me sick and if I even see a knife in someone’s hand…”
I shook my head and lifted my eyes. As expected, King looked beyond pissed. Even in the dark, I could tell that fury was consuming him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice almost unrecognizable.
“The same reason you never told me what really happened when you were a kid that landed you in the system. The same reason you won't tell me what you did to get your half of the money for Lex. I thought you’d treat me differently. I thought you’d see me as weak and stupid for letting myself get into that situation and for not being able to get out of it. I didn’t want you to look at me and see someone who wasn’t strong enough to fight back—”
“I never would have thought that!” King growled. I knew his anger wasn’t directed at me, though.
“You were such a fucking strong kid, Con. And what you did for Lex…” King paused and stared out into the woods, his back to me. “I’m so fucking proud to call you my brother.”
My heart thudded painfully in my chest. I’d gone into this thing knowing it wouldn’t change my relationship with King but hearing him say the words had those damn tears stinging the backs of my eyes again. I set the bottle down on the step and climbed to my feet. When I came to a stop next to King and stared at the forest myself, I saw his hand dash at his eyes.
“I’ll fucking kill him,” he whispered.
“Another reason I didn’t tell you,” I said softly. “You would have made it your life’s mission to find out who did it and wipe him off the face of the earth. But you can't fix this for me, King. Just like you couldn't fix it back then. I don’t want you to hurt over this. Or think you failed me somehow because we both know that’s not true. I made it through the system because of you. Because I had my brother by my side.”
“Same,” King murmured. He was still visibly enraged but his voice was softer.
“I need to let that fucking hole heal.” I sighed and added, “Micah made it safe for me to admit what that fucker did to me, even to myself. But I've carried it alone for too long. Promise me that after you’ve dealt with this, you’ll let it go too. I’m in a good place now. I’ll probably get some help to figure out how to deal with the things that trigger all those old feelings, but I’ve got a real chance at a future with Micah, and I don’t want to fuck that up for anything in the world.”
King drew in a long breath, then another. While some of the tension drained out of him, I could tell it was very much forced for my benefit. He would need time to process what I’d told him and accept that he couldn’t change what happened. Just like I’d had to accept that I couldn’t have stopped Lex from going blind.
“You can’t promise me that yet, can you?” I asked.
“You know I can’t,” King responded.
“Yeah,” I returned.
“I’ll get there,” my brother said as he turned his head to look at me. I saw the truth in his eyes. I nodded and patted his shoulder.
“Will you tell Luca and them what happened?” King asked.
I nodded. “Eventually. Luca and Vaughn have got so much going on with their guys and Gio, and Lex is dealing with what’s happened to him—”
“Con,” King cut in. “Tell them when you’re ready to tell them, not when you think they’re ready to hear it.”
He was right. None of us were brothers only when things were easy. We were there to watch each other’s backs and I was finally coming to realize that even though I was on my own when it came to fighting inside a ring, outside of it I was far from alone.
“I will,” I agreed.
“So, you and the kid, huh?” King said.
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“Didn’t see that coming,” my brother murmured sarcastically. He reached out to grip my shoulder. “Don’t let him get away, brother.”
“Not a chance,” I responded. “Speaking of which, I have a favor to ask.”