Micah actually stepped away from me as if he were going to head downstairs so I grabbed his elbow to stop him. Electricity fired up my arm at the contact and I ended up immediately releasing him. “It’s fine,” I said as I took the plate. “I maintain my weight all year round so I just have to focus on foods that will give me the most energy for training.”
God, were we really talking about food after everything that had happened today?
“Oh, okay. I, um… I’m glad you told me because I haven’t been sure what to make you each night and that was part of our deal.”
Right.
Our deal.
Our fucking deal.
“Good night, Micah,” I said as I pushed past him and into the room. But when I went to close the door, Micah had placed his body in the doorframe. His head was hung so that he was staring at the floor.
“I know I’m supposed to regret it, but I don’t. I just don’t,” he said softly.
I instinctively knew he was talking about what had happened between us under that tree. Before I could respond, Micah continued with, “I can’t stop thinking about what kind of person that makes me.”
I found myself using my finger to tip his chin up so he was looking at me. “I think it makes you human,” I said, then admitted, “I don’t regret it either. But it was a—”
“Mistake,” Micah finished for me. “Yeah.”
I figured that was the end to the conversation and was eager to escape into the sanctuary of my room, but he didn’t move. “Micah?”
He’d dropped his eyes to the floor again but to my surprise, he lifted them on his own. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Well, yeah, I actually did, but it wasn’t something I thought he was in any position to hear. If I told him how fucking beautiful he was when he came, how his sheer responsiveness and openness had made me feel things I’d never felt with anyone else, he’d turn tail and run for sure.
Which was what I needed him to do.
So then why wasn’t I sending him on his way?
“Me neither,” I heard myself respond. And it was the truth. Never in a million years would I have guessed that a sexual encounter could be so life changing. I finally understood what my brothers, Vaughn and Luca, had meant when they’d found the men who were “it” for them. I was quickly and frighteningly coming to realize I had finally found the same thing only to have it be doomed from the start.
Micah nodded, though he looked sadder than ever. It was all I could do not to reach for him.
“Well, good night,” he murmured as he turned away from me.
“Night,” I responded as I desperately tried to ignore my disappointment.
I was in the process of closing the door when I heard Micah say, “Con?”
Just hearing my name on his lips made me want to rip the door open and drag him into my room.
Where he belonged.
“Yeah?” I managed to say as I opened the door again. Micah was wringing his hands together but instead of looking at the floor, he was looking at my chest.
“Do you… do you think maybe we… maybe we could be…”
He paused for several long beats before lifting his eyes to meet mine. “Friends? Maybe we could be friends or something? Maybe we could forget about the stuff with… with Brady for a little while?”
My heart was pounding painfully in my chest as I stepped forward. Micah let out a little whimper as I closed the distance between us until my body was practically brushing his. I reached out to cup his neck and then I covered his mouth with mine. Micah moaned as our tongues met and then his arms were wrapping around my neck. He felt so good against me that I nearly forgot why I’d kissed him in the first place. It was all I could do to drag my mouth from his. We were both panting heavily. I managed to step back a little, but I still had my hand on his neck. I used it to force him to look at me.
“If you’d asked me that question this morning, I would have said yes,” I whispered. “But this”—I dropped another soft kiss to his lips—“is why my answer is no.” I pressed my forehead against Micah’s. “I don’t want to just be your friend, Micah. I want it all. I want to make love to you every night before you fall asleep in my arms and I want the first thing I see when I wake each morning to be your face. I want to be able to touch you whenever I want. I want to make you smile and laugh. I want to hold you when you cry. I want to watch as my touch makes you come apart and I want your arms around me when I do the same.”