One, I was attracted to guys and not girls.
And two, I was more than just attracted to the man who’d changed the trajectory of my entire life with nothing more than his fists.
I fumbled with the drawstring of the sweats but after two failed attempts, thick fingers pushed mine out of the way and took over the task for me.
“You were saying this thing of ours has a shelf life,” Con said, his voice cold.
I didn’t respond. I was afraid to. It was that simple. I knew in my gut I’d poked the belly of the beast and if I wasn’t careful, I’d pay for it. The Con standing in front of me was very different from the one I knew from all the interviews he’d given on TV. There was no charming laugh or easygoing smile. And he wasn’t the same guy who’d stood by my hospital bed, his expression riddled with guilt. I didn’t know the man standing before me and that meant I didn’t know how to work him.
A heavy silence fell between us, and I didn’t dare move even after Con finished tying the pants.
“So let me make sure I’ve got this right,” Con began. The coolness of his tone sent shivers down my spine. Bad shivers. Shivers I usually only ever got when Ricky would look at me as he was counting the last of the cash from Con’s monthly check.
“I can fuck you anytime I want, even when you’re out cold, as long as I use protection, right? But I better get my fill soon because our deal isn’t forever, right?”
His crassness made me sick to my stomach. “That’s right,” I managed to say.
“So technically I could bend you over this bed right now…” Con murmured.
I closed my eyes and tried to stifle the whimper that stole through my entire body. I felt rather than saw Con drop his head so that his mouth was by my ear. “What are the other conditions?” he asked. There was no emotion in his voice.
My body began to tremble violently. I wanted to shove him away. I also wanted to wrap my arms around him and beg him to be that guy again. The one who’d held me so gently on the floor of that hospital. The one who’d promised me he would never let anyone hurt me again.
I steeled my spine as I reminded myself that guys like that didn’t exist. Hell, people like that didn’t exist. The ones who weren’t taking something from you were turning their heads and pretending you didn’t exist instead. I needed to remember that.
“You can’t kiss me,” I said.
Con’s warm breath washed over me just as his lips grazed the shell of my ear. As pained as my body was, my traitorous dick responded to the gentle caress.
“No kissing,” Con murmured. “Anywhere?” he asked before pulling back enough that he could look me in the eye. “Or just on the mouth?” he added as his dark eyes settled on that particular part of my body. I hated that my lips instinctively parted just a little. My breath began to saw in and out of me until my head was spinning.
What the hell was happening to me?
Anywhere. Tell him anywhere.
I opened my mouth to tell him exactly that but to my horror, all that came out was, “Please.”
Oh God.
Disbelief tore through me even as my eyes sought out Con’s. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for him to lean down and take what I was offering but when my gaze met his, I saw nothing in his once luminous eyes.
No victory.
No curiosity.
No kindness.
Nothing.
Just… nothing.
In fact, all the man did was take a few steps back from me. The hardness of his jaw was the only proof of any emotion at all as he turned his back on me and said, “I’ll wait outside if you want to get cleaned up in the bathroom before you see the kids.”
And just like that, he was gone. The bedroom door shut with a soft snick. I was tempted to hurry to it just so I could confirm he hadn’t somehow locked me in the room, but I managed to rein in the need. Instead, I went to the bathroom and relieved myself as quickly as I could manage. It was only as I was washing my hands that I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I paused as I took in my almost unrecognizable features. My hair was sticking up everywhere and my face was twice its normal size from all the swelling. I laughed out loud as I took in the sight. No wonder the man hadn’t been interested in making a move on me. It was one thing to fuck a guy from behind and in the dark, but I wasn’t exactly a prize in the light.