I shook my head because I couldn't do that. I couldn't tell him what I really wanted.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" Gideon asked.
I swore that a gallon’s worth of pre-cum leaked out of the head of my cock just from the way Gideon said the word “fuck.”
I nodded eagerly.
"Say it," Gideon demanded. Then he pumped his hips against mine once. Only once.
"Yes!" I cried out and then I dragged his mouth down to mine. I tried to make him move against me again, but he was steadfastly still. I felt like my entire body was breaking apart into a million pieces because I was so desperate to come.
"Is that really what you want?" Gideon asked as his lips closed first over my upper lip, then my lower. My body began to shake violently and I shook my head.
"Tell me, baby," Gideon whispered. "Tell me what you want, Lex."
It was too much. It was all too much. I wanted to tell him that I never asked for things anymore because I couldn't stand the disappointment of not getting them.
I’d wanted the men I’d been with to give me pleasure because they’d wanted to, not because they’d felt obligated to.
I'd wanted Grady to love me for me, not the money I'd spent on him.
I'd wanted all those foster parents to keep me because I'd been worth keeping, not because I'd come with a monthly check.
But I'd asked for those things before and the answers had always been the same.
You're not our real kid, Lex.
You're not worth a real relationship, Lex.
You're just a one-night stand, Lex.
You're not the person I really want to be with, Lex.
"Gideon," I cried, hating the hot tears that began to stripe down my face. "Please. Please make me come! I need you! Please!"
Before I'd even finished begging, Gideon's mouth was on mine and his nimble fingers stripped my jeans clean off my body. It took just seconds for his flesh to come into contact with mine. "Wrap your legs around me," Gideon demanded as he linked his left hand with my right one and held it above my head. I did what he said and wrapped my legs around his waist. His right hand slipped beneath my backside and gripped me hard. He held me in place as he began grinding our dicks together. The friction had me seeing stars and the coil inside of me grew tighter and tighter, frightening me with its intensity.
"Gideon!" I called. "Harder, faster!" I demanded. He gave me exactly that. I wrapped my free arm around his back and held on as the tension grew and grew until I was sure I would snap in two.
"Come for me, baby," Gideon demanded against my mouth. At the same time, he slipped his finger between my crease and brushed it over my hole. I screamed as the orgasm ripped through me. It was so violent that it almost bordered on painful. I saw only darkness behind my eyelids even though my eyes were open, and for once, I welcomed it. Every nerve ending came alive as my body jerked and thrashed beneath Gideon's weight. I could feel the heat of my own release pooling on my belly and dripping down my cock. Gideon continued to thrust against me as his finger played with my opening, prolonging the orgasm for what seemed like an eternity. When my body finally stopped jerking, I sank into the mattress, dropping my arm from Gideon's waist and letting my legs fall open.
I was aware of Gideon's lips pressing kisses to my temple, my cheeks, my mouth. But I couldn't return any of them. I felt wrung out.
By the time I came back to myself, it could have been minutes or hours for all I knew. Although I still remembered every word Gideon and I had exchanged during our little semi-fight, I was just too damn happy to make an issue of it. The reality was that I’d told Gideon exactly what I’d wanted, and he’d given it to me without hesitation. Even now, I could feel Gideon's hardness against my own flaccid dick, so I knew he hadn't come. It would've been easy enough for him to push himself inside of me and get himself off while getting me off too, but he'd made the last several minutes about my pleasure and only mine.
"You okay?" Gideon asked as he pressed those now much-wanted butterfly kisses against my mouth.
I nodded. I waited for him to mock my earlier argument that it wasn't okay for me to expect things when it came to my lovers, but all he did was continue to cherish me with his mouth and his hands.
"Good," he said after a long pause. He left the bed only long enough to grab a wet washcloth which he cleaned us both off with, then his mouth was on mine again. "You ready for round two?"