"Could she be—" I began before I realized what I was even asking.
"No," Gideon said simply. "Witnesses saw her in the car before Serena drove it over the cliff."
I didn't know what to say. Telling him I was sorry meant absolutely nothing. He’d probably heard that thousands of times since he’d lost his little girl. "Gideon," I said helplessly.
"I just wanted to tell you so you'd know why I just want to be left alone." I heard Gideon's boots moving over the snow. I realized he was leaving.
"Gideon," I said as I moved down the last couple of steps. But I wasn't paying attention, so my foot slid on the lip of one of the steps. I would've gone flying if Gideon hadn't caught me by the arm.
"No, Lex!" he yelled as he righted me. "I don't want to do this!"
"Do what?" I asked in confusion. "I only want to make sure—"
"What? That I'm okay? Because I'm not fucking okay! I will never be okay! That's what I'm trying to tell you. One kid is dead, the other won't speak to me. I came back to this hole-in-the-wall town so I could be left in peace! I just need you to leave me alone!"
Gideon released my arm but placed my hand on the banister next to me so I wouldn’t lose my point of reference. His verbal attack had stunned me into silence and by the time I found my voice, Gideon was walking away, his heavy boots crunching over the snow. I heard his truck door slam shut hard and then the engine was revving to life. My knees felt weak, so I lowered myself down to the first step and listened as the truck drove off. If there hadn’t been snow on the ground, I probably would've heard the rubber tires burning along the pavement.
Despite the cool air, I felt hot. I tried to tell myself not to take Gideon's attack personally, but it wasn't easy. He’d specifically asked me to leave him alone. I'd been the one who'd pushed him to open up to me and even if he hadn't given me specifics at that time, clearly, I'd made him remember things he hadn't wanted to. The tears I'd been trying to stem began to fall without warning. I covered my mouth to stifle the sob that was attempting to escape, but I wasn't really sure why I was doing it since I was alone anyway.
Or so I thought.
Because as soon as I let out that first hoarse cry, a cold nose pressed into my armpit and then a wet tongue was leaving a trail of doggy saliva on my face. On the one hand, I was thrilled to have Brewer there to comfort me, but on the other, I was afraid of what that meant for Gideon. He hadn't even tried calling the dog to take him home with him.
I let my fingers skim over Brewer's soft coat. The husky settled half his body on my lap and began whining. No matter how much I petted him, the dog didn't let up with his whimpers. Then he let out a long howl that pierced holes into my already tattered heart.
I dropped my head against Brewer’s and whispered, "I'm sorry, Brewer. I'm worried about him too." Brewer fell silent and tucked his muzzle into my armpit. I used one hand to comfort the dog while I searched out my phone and told it what number I wanted to dial. It was all I could do to keep myself together when a gruff voice on the other end answered.
I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a half sob that sounded as desolate as Brewer's whimpers.
"Lex, talk to me," my brother King all but demanded. He reminded me so much of Gideon that I would've laughed if it hadn't hurt so fucking much. As it was, I could barely get my next words out because I was terrified that, for the first time in my life, not even my brother could help me fix the damage I'd caused.
"King… I think I fucked up."
Chapter Eighteen
Gideon
There was no doubt about who it was that was pounding on my door that night, so I took my time answering it. I'd only just returned from my second visit to the liquor store in the past week, so I hadn't had a chance to break open the first of several bottles of whiskey that I’d bought. I’d gotten smart and had driven to the next town over to stock up on alcohol so I wouldn't have to deal with Merv or any of his busybody patrons judging me for my purchases.
Since I'd left Brewer at Lex's, I'd assumed I'd get a call to come and get the dog, but I was surprised that Lex was returning the animal to me himself. I’d already glanced out the window when I’d heard the sound of an engine getting closer, so I’d known as soon as I’d seen the sleek black car making its way down my driveway who my visitor was.