He slowly shook his head.
“We want the same thing, Remy. To make sure Violet ends up someplace where she’ll never face that kind of danger again. Can’t that be enough for now?”
“Ronan can help me—”
“I couldn’t save you,” I interrupted angrily. “I couldn’t save my son. I know you think I’m a heartless son of a bitch, but seeing that little girl in that room with that fucking needle in her hand—”
My voice dropped off because even the memory of it was making my heart race. How many kids at this very moment were in the exact same circumstances? How many wouldn’t make it out of a room like that? Or if they did, it wouldn’t be until after they’d been used and discarded like the garbage around them? How many would end up like Gio? Brainwashed until they didn’t know who they were or that they were loved by the very families they’d been taken from?
I dropped my eyes again. My inner voice shouted at me not to expose my throat to Remy, but my stomach was knotted with fear for what would happen to him and Violet if I wasn’t there to protect them. I heard myself whispering, “You owe me nothing, Remy, but I’m beg—”
“Okay,” Remy cut in.
I was so caught off guard that I snapped my head up. Before I could express my disbelief, he added, “But Violet and I get to leave whenever I say.”
I began nodding, but he put his hand up. “That day in the house never happened, do you understand me?”
I did, but he and I both knew there was no way to just pack that day away. But I merely nodded. He didn’t need to hear about how none of this would change the fact that I wouldn’t sleep tonight or tomorrow night or the next. He didn’t need to know that every time I closed my eyes, I still heard his whispered pleas to come back for him. Or that my nightmares almost always had the defining moment where I had to choose between him and my son.
And no matter how often I vowed to save them both in the dream, I always failed.
Always.
“Luca?”
It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized I’d dropped my gaze again. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever had so much trouble looking someone in the eye.
“Did you ever find your son?” Remy asked hesitantly.
I nodded. I knew what Remy would ask me next, so I automatically added, “He’s alive.”
He looked so relieved that it hurt to look at him. He must have seen something in my expression because the tension returned to his features. He started reaching for his hair, then seemed to remember himself.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He might not have known the circumstances of Gio’s situation, but he got it. If anyone understood that finding an abducted child alive and safe wasn’t the same thing as alive and well, it was Remy.
“Do you know what Violet’s mother’s last name was? Or any information about her?” I asked. I wasn’t trying to be dismissive of Remy’s sympathy for Gio, but it wasn’t something I could talk about.
“She never told me her last name, but I remember her talking about summers in the South. She had a Southern accent. And I think she named Violet after a relative… it was her aunt’s middle name, I think. I’m sorry, I don’t know anything else about her. I guess she just wanted to get lost and start over.”
“Is that why you came here?” I asked.
I hadn’t expected him to answer, but he surprised me when he said, “The getting lost part, yeah. I had help with the starting over part.”
I wanted to ask him if it was Ronan who’d helped him, but Remy must have anticipated the question because he stopped me with one of his own.
“Do you think you can find Jackie’s family?”
“If they reported her missing, then it should be pretty easy. If not, it will take a little more time.”
“What happens to Violet if Jackie’s family doesn’t want her?”
I knew it was a possibility, but I couldn’t picture any parent being willing to lose the last link to their child by abandoning their grandchild. With all the kids we’d reunited with their families after getting them out of the child sex trafficking trade, we’d never once run into a case where family members hadn’t been overjoyed to get their loved one back. But if Jackie’s family had kicked her out or abandoned her even after knowing she was pregnant, it wouldn’t be good news for Violet.
“We’ll find her a loving family, Remy,” I said. It was a promise I knew I could keep. Even if I had to set up a trust fund for the toddler that would guarantee her future, I’d do it in a heartbeat.