I began laughing.
A heartbeat later, Jude was too.
I’d fucked plenty of guys and the “after” had always been steeped with awkwardness and an uncomfortable silence as I planned my exit.
Now, though, I’d just had the most epic sex of my life—sex that had literally left me weak-kneed—and there was no regret, no one saying it shouldn't have happened, no one worrying about what tomorrow would bring. It was just Jude and me, our bodies relaxed, our minds even more so, enjoying the aftermath.
I managed to get my pants off and then wrapped my arms around Jude and just held on to him for a while. It was only when, despite the steam around us, my body began to feel chilled that I led Jude into what was still a comfortably hot shower. We took our time washing each other off and then just stood together under the hot spray of water. I had no sense of time and was in no hurry to go anywhere.
Only when the water began to cool did we get out of the shower and dried off. I ignored the clothes on the floor and took Jude's hand in mine so I could lead him to the bed. There was a brief moment of tension when Jude saw his cars sitting neatly lined up on the nightstand, but just as I was sure that I was losing him to the real world, he turned away from them and crawled into the bed with me. He dropped his head on my chest and wrapped an arm around my waist. I was relieved when he didn't look back at the cars even once.
He fell asleep before I did, so I got the chance to just lie there and feel his warm breath washing over my chest. I should've used the time to figure out how to move forward, but one instant I was rubbing my fingers along Jude's arm and the next minute I was out.
When I next awoke, I was practically wrapped around Jude like a vine. His back was pressed to my front and I had my right arm slung over his upper body. I'd somehow managed to merge one of my legs between his.
I could tell immediately that Jude was awake because he was rubbing his fingers back and forth over the hand I had pressed against his heart. Based on the angle of his head, I could tell he was looking at his cars on the nightstand. The black fingerprint dust made for a stark backdrop. I wondered if Jude was thinking about the individual who'd invaded his privacy or if he was caught in the past thinking about all the people who’d paid him off for their failures with a meaningless toy.
I wasn't really sure how to ease into any kind of conversation after what had happened between the two of us, especially since I was terrified that anything I said would just set Jude off and he'd flee. So I settled for dropping my lips to his shoulder. I kissed him softly and then whispered, "Is this okay?"
He nodded his head in response and his fingers briefly tightened on mine. The rest of his body tensed up just a little bit against me but, thankfully, it only took a handful of seconds before Jude relaxed against me again. We lay there in companionable silence for a couple of minutes before he suddenly said, "I'm not sleeping with Cliff."
It was a topic I hadn’t seen coming.
"I know," I murmured as I kissed his shoulder again. Jude flipped over in my hold so he was on his back and I was leaning over him. Seeing him so rumpled and well-loved stole my breath. He looked more at peace than I'd ever seen him.
"You do?" he asked in surprise.
I nodded. It was entirely true. "Honestly, though, I only just recently figured it out," I admitted.
"How?" Jude asked.
I took advantage of our positions and began toying with his ruffled hair which was sticking up all over the place.
"The way you respond when I touch you… It's real, honest. You don't hide when we’re like this," I said softly before leaning down and brushing a gentle kiss over his lips. I realized I couldn’t put into words how I’d come to recognize the truth of his relationship with Clifton Hayes, so I shook my head.
"I just know," I repeated as I held Jude’s gaze. His pretty eyes looked into mine for a moment before he rolled back over so we were once again in our original positions with my front up against his back. I liked how he made sure that my hand was in the same spot over his heart. I shifted until there was no space between us.
"He cares about you," I said. When Jude didn't immediately respond to my comment, I asked, "How did you two meet?"