"Maks is awake and talking," Nikolai began. "They've got his fever under control. They’re doing tests to see if they can figure out what caused it."
"Do they have any ideas?" I asked.
Nikolai shook his head, but he did it slowly, so I wasn't sure that he was actually answering me with a no. "They think… they think it might be…" Nikolai's voice cracked as he tried to get out whatever it was he was saying. I gave in to my need to touch him and reached my hand out so I could settle it on his upper arm. His skin still felt cold.
"Cancer," Nikolai blurted. "They think it could be fucking cancer," he choked out.
"Nikolai,” I said with a shake of my head because I didn't know what else to say. What could I say? It would be a devastating diagnosis. I hadn't even met the little boy and my heart was already breaking for him, for the entire family.
I forgot about the fact that I was only Nikolai's job and stepped forward so I could put my arms around him. I expected him to resist or keep his body stiff, but to my surprise, he sank against me as his arms curled around my back. His big hands clutched me as if he were afraid to let me go. I felt the warmth of his lips against my neck as he buried his face against me.
"He'll be okay," I whispered. "He'll be okay, Nikolai."
I was certain I felt some dampness against my skin as Nikolai held on to me. That fact was confirmed a few seconds later when he lifted his head and released me so he could wipe at his face.
"What now?" I asked.
"They're keeping Maks for a few days for observation. Oncology will come down to see him and start doing tests. My sister's going to stay with him and my folks are gonna take Nattie home."
Nikolai turned and leaned back against the wall. He took in a few deep breaths and then said, "Come on, I'll take you home."
“Nikolai, you should stay here. I can wait until someone else comes to get me if you want or I can go home by myself—"
Nikolai instantly began shaking his head. I was all prepared to argue with him when he said, "Please, Jude, I need to do this."
I realized then that he actually wanted to take me home because he needed to get the hell out of there.
"Okay," I said.
Nikolai nodded and said, "I'm going to grab Nattie and take her to my parents."
He stepped back into the playroom to collect his niece. When he came back out, I quietly followed him to where his parents were waiting. They looked completely devastated but put on a brave face for Natalia as they spoke to her in Russian.
The little girl nodded and then looked at me. "Bye, Jude," she said and then she was wrapping her arms around my waist.
I knelt down so I could give her a proper hug and said, "Thanks for letting me play Legos with you."
She nodded against my neck and said, "You're really good at it."
I found myself smiling as I released her. Nikolai lifted her up and hugged her tight and said something to her in Russian. The little girl nodded vigorously and then laughed at something he said. He handed her over to his father before saying his goodbyes and leading me from the hospital.
After a quiet ride back to my apartment, I fully expected to go our separate ways but when Nikolai opened his door, entered his apartment and then left the door wide open behind him, I got the silent message and followed him inside. He immediately went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of what I could only assume was scotch or whiskey. He snagged two shot glasses and filled each one.
It was far too early to drink in my mind, but one look at Nikolai's pained expression and I knew this was something he needed. Not for me to join him in a drink, but for me to be there. Nikolai threw back the drink and poured himself another. I took my drink and swallowed it before holding out the glass. Nikolai filled it and then grabbed the bottle and headed for the couch. I followed him to the living room.
The room had plenty of places I could sit that would provide distance between me and Nikolai, but something about the way Nikolai practically collapsed onto the expensive leather furniture had me dismissing the idea of sitting anywhere but next to him. Nikolai downed his third shot and then filled the fourth. Since I could already feel the alcohol warming my system, I took my time just sipping at the amber liquid in my glass.
"He's just a little kid," Nikolai said softly, his voice taut with anger. I didn't blame him. No kid deserved what was happening to little Maks.