And it kind of did.
But when I saw Matias notice some blood on the wood and then try to use first his arm and then the hem of his shirt to wipe it off, all I felt was angry at myself. The guy might have been a dick, but I wasn't. I'd always believed in setting an example for my children, but I was more than a little glad they hadn't seen me like this. I wasn't someone who got angry and lashed out at others, either physically or verbally. And I most certainly wasn't someone who turned away an individual in need.
I spun around and went back to my bathroom to gather the medical supplies. By the time I returned to Ryan's room, Matias was finishing up with nailing the piece of wood over the broken window. I couldn't help but watch as his strong fingers gripped the hammer and he effortlessly knocked the nails into the molding. I'd always been turned off by overly strong men, probably because they’d reminded me too much of my domineering father. Mac had been the exception to the rule. He'd been the exception to a lot of rules, actually.
I didn't want Matias to be one of those exceptions. I remembered the way he'd pinned me against the side of the shed right before taking his anger out on the window. I tried to tell myself that it was just further proof of how dangerous he was, but the reality was that he hadn't actually hurt me. Even after I'd hit him, he hadn't struck back. I sighed because it was all just too confusing. I needed to focus on the task at hand and then get the man out of my house.
I stepped into the room and put the supplies on the bed. Matias still had his back to me, so I was surprised when he said, "Make sure to have a contractor out to check this window frame. It's starting to warp and let air in. Your kid will get cold."
Before I could even respond, Matias turned around and began walking out of the room. Despite my promise to myself not to touch him, I instinctively reached out to grab his arm as he moved by me. Electricity and heat fired up through my fingers and skittered along every nerve ending until it felt like my entire body was tingling. The fact that there was a distinctive tightening in my jeans threatened to bring back that sour taste of betrayal.
"Let me bandage up your hand," I said as I quickly dropped my own. Unfortunately, the sensation didn't stop even though I no longer had any kind of physical contact with the man. He didn't move for a long time and he didn't say anything either. Strangely enough, I found myself holding my breath as I waited for him to respond. I wasn't really sure if I wanted him to stay or go.
Matias seemed very stiff and tense as he stood there, his eyes straight ahead. His bearing made me wonder if he'd been a soldier at some point. For some reason, I couldn't see him saluting a superior. He just seemed too big for that. Like others should be saluting him.
If I hadn't been standing right next to him, I would've shaken my head at the ridiculous thought. Instead, I forced myself to move to the bed, then picked up the package of gauze pads. I tried to keep my eyes on the little box and not Matias as I waited to see what would happen next. When the man finally did move, I let out the breath I was holding and tried to ignore the strange giddiness that went through me as the larger man moved in my direction. Once again, he seemed to not recognize the concept of boundaries because when he reached me, he was only inches from me. He smelled so good that I found myself purposely pulling in deeper and deeper breaths.
"You didn't have to do that," I said as I jerked my chin in the direction of the window. Somehow, I managed to keep my eyes down like the box of gauze was the most interesting thing in the world at the moment.
"I'll take care of the one in the shed too. If you order the glass, I can replace both windows."
His voice was husky and gruff and only served to send involuntary shivers through my entire body. I wondered what he would sound like as his body moved over mine. Would he even say anything at all? Since he wasn't a particularly talkative man, I found it hard to believe that he would be any different in bed. I let out a sigh as I realized the direction of my thoughts. So much for not thinking inappropriate things about the man. I sent a silent apology to Mac and then said, "Can you sit down?" I motioned to Ryan's bed, but still didn’t look at Matias.