Both men had changed a lot in the past few weeks. They’d started being more affectionate with one another in front of me and Cash hadn’t hesitated to give Sage orders when it was clear that was what he needed to get through a tough moment. They’d included me in a lot of their conversations and activities and I’d started to feel like less and less of a guest.
But I still wasn’t sure what I was.
I’d talked to Ronan several times over the past two months and he’d continued to extend the offer to have me come stay with him and his family, or to at least set up shop in Seattle so I could be close to them, but something had always held me back. As much as I sometimes felt like I was intruding on Sage and Cash’s life together, there was some invisible force that kept me from following through on moving on and starting my life over someplace else.
Because I was coming to think that for me, there was no place else.
I was exactly where I was meant to be.
It didn’t hurt that my feelings for Cash and Sage had grown stronger in the past several weeks. Before, it had just been an undeniable attraction and this weird sense of rightness when I was around them. But the more I learned about each man, the more I was starting to fall for them.
Yes, them.
I’d seen enough from Memphis’s relationship with his two lovers to know that being in love with two people at the same time was very much a possibility, but there was a big difference when it came to me, Sage, and Cash.
Because Sage and Cash were already together and had been for a while. Their love for one another was so strong and unbreakable that I wasn’t certain there was room for another person in their life. And it wasn’t like I had anything to offer either man.
Those bouts of insecurity should have been enough to send me running, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to leave. A part of me was afraid that I was so desperate to be a part of their family that I’d be okay with just being a third wheel.
It wasn’t that Cash and Sage had ever made me feel that way, but I just couldn’t imagine either of them feeling the same way about me how they felt about each other.
There was also the niggling concern that what they wanted from me might only be physical. I was coming to believe that my worries weren’t completely unfounded, either, because Cash and Sage had upped their game in the past couple of weeks. I was still sleeping in their bed every night after I was certain they were done making love. In the past, I’d just had to give them a certain amount of time to make sure I didn’t interrupt their alone time before going to their room. But recently, they’d made sure I heard them together.
Every glorious moment.
All the moans, the creaking mattress, the headboard hitting the wall, the shouts of completion. It’d gotten so bad that I’d found myself touching myself as I’d lain in bed listening to them. I’d barely managed to stifle my own sounds of pleasure when I’d learned how to time my orgasms to match theirs. I was just glad that the lights were usually off by the time I snuck into their room because I probably wouldn’t have been able to hide my blush if they’d seen how completely sated I looked when I got into bed with them.
Besides making sure I heard them in the throes of passion, they’d started increasing the direct physical contact with me. The kisses they gave me every morning and night seemed to last longer. Hands lingered on my body, fingers drifted over my skin in feather-light caresses when I was least expecting it. I often walked in on them in the kitchen or living room as they were making out – something they hadn’t ever done when I’d first moved in. And they never separated when they saw me. Instead, they let their hands linger on each other’s bodies and my eyes were drawn to their every move like bees to honey. I’d gotten to a point that I was pretty much guaranteed to be turned on when I was in the same room with them.
But I didn’t want to be just one of their conquests. I hadn’t forgotten what Cash had told me about how they brought other people into their bed for sexual sport. While it admittedly turned me on in some ways, I also knew what I’d feel like after they were finished with me. No, I wasn’t sexually experienced enough (or at all) to understand what they’d make my body feel, but I knew what my heart would go through when they sent me back to my room when we were finished.