And if it took someone like Daisy to set him free, I’d choose that over a lifetime of having him at my side knowing he’d never truly be the man he could be.
“She’s used to dealing with people from the other side of a computer screen,” I reminded him. “It’s easy to pretend to be someone you’re not when anonymity is on your side.”
“Did you see the way she looked at me… us?” he asked dejectedly. “Like she thought we were going to hurt her or something.”
I had noticed. I’d also noticed that she’d stuck to Memphis and Mav like glue, which hadn’t surprised me, since she knew both men better than the rest of the team. I also hadn’t missed my need to reassure her that we were no threat to her. If anything, she was the threat.
“It wasn’t just us she looked at like that,” I observed, but I knew it wouldn’t satisfy Sage. He wasn’t used to people being afraid of him, at least not anyone who wasn’t on the receiving end of his gun.
Silence descended for several moments as I navigated the narrow road leading to the motel.
“Hey,” Sage murmured, and I took my eyes off the road long enough to cast him a glance. A moment later, I felt his fingers seeking mine out where they were resting on the gearshift. “You know it’s still only you, right?” he said softly. I let him link our hands.
I hated the insecurity that burrowed its way into my chest. I pulled his hand up to my lips and brushed my mouth over the back of his hand. “What was the one thing I promised you when you agreed to be mine?” I asked.
“That no matter what choices you made for us, the choice to be with you was always mine.”
“I’ll never keep you from being the man you’re supposed to be, Sage,” I said softly. “Even if you can’t be that man with me.”
Sage’s fingers flexed around mine. “Sometimes I wish you wouldn’t give me that freedom,” he murmured.
I didn’t ask him to expound on his statement because I already understood what he meant. As strong and as dangerous as Sage could be when it came to our work and to protecting the people he cared about, he had no faith in himself and his ability to make decisions. While there were many decisions I was willing to make for him, I would never force him to choose me as the person he wanted to be with. It was a fine line that I refused to cross. As much as I felt like Sage was mine, I didn’t own him and I refused to attach that label to him.
Because I knew, deep down, Sage didn’t want to be viewed as a piece of property. He’d had that once and it had nearly killed him. But it was also hard for him to be adrift. If I hadn’t been able to read him as well as I could, I would have thought I was just some stand-in… that I met that singular need to have someone give him the control he couldn’t find on his own. But I was able to read him and I saw things in his eyes beyond sexual satisfaction and contentment. He might not be able to acknowledge it, but he’d chosen me. He continued to choose me every time we came together.
“And I wish you’d have more faith in yourself… like you have in me.”
Sage cast me a glance but remained silent.
The motel parking lot was almost completely empty when we pulled in. Most of the wedding guests either lived in the immediate area and had gone home directly after the ceremony or had gone back to the city so they could fly out tonight or in the morning to be wherever it was they needed to be on Christmas. Since it was just Sage and me, we’d decided to spend another night at the motel before heading back to our house in Arkansas.
I pulled the car around to the back side of the motel where our room was, but as soon as the headlights lined up with the building, my breath caught at the sight before me.
“Is that…”
“Daisy,” I said softly as I put the car in park.
The young woman was sitting in front of the door of the room next to ours wearing nothing more than an oversized white T-shirt. Her bare legs were tucked up against her chest and her long brown hair was loose around her body.
“Daisy?” Sage said, his voice full of concern as he climbed out of the car. I was just steps behind him. Fear trumpeted through me that maybe she was hurt, but luckily, when Sage put a hand on her shoulder, Daisy stirred and then slowly lifted her head.