I got to my feet and took my time cleaning up the dish Daisy had dropped as well as the blood that had dripped onto the floor. I wanted Sage to be uncomfortable enough that he’d have to work to please me. It would give him something to focus on besides whatever shit was in his head that had driven him to all this.
I finished cutting the roast and put it back in the pan after making the gravy. It’d been about twenty minutes since I’d ordered Sage to get up on his knees. I went to stand in front of him. “Stand up.”
He quickly got to his feet.
“Eyes on me,” I reminded him. The fact that he hadn’t immediately looked at me was an indication that there was still some shit going on in his head that didn’t belong there.
“Take all of the things you need for the salad to the table.”
Sage went to get all the items off the counter and I cleared off some space at the table for him to work. I’d already cleaned the knife he’d used to hurt himself and I’d put it back on the counter. I watched him pick it up, but he didn’t linger on it.
I felt a curl of relief go through me.
Once Sage had all the things organized on the table, I said, “Sit down. I’m going to watch you make the salad and if you don’t do it the way I want, you’ll start all over again and keep going until I’m satisfied. Do you understand me?”
Sage nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
I knew what I was about to do was overkill, but I needed him to focus on the one thing that was sure to dispel the memories and insecurities that were still occupying too much of his mind.
“You want to please me, don’t you Sage?” I asked.
“More than anything, Sir,” he whispered.
“Good. Then work slowly and carefully.”
Sage lowered himself into the chair and I sat down kitty-corner to him so I’d be able to see every play of emotion across his face and if something happened with the knife, I’d be able to take it from him.
I sensed rather than saw a presence behind me, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Sage to look at Daisy.
Not when he was handling the knife.
I told Sage exactly how I wanted him to cut every single vegetable. I even went so far as to tell him how many times he should slice things and that I wanted the slices even. The meticulous work required a considerable amount of focus and with every slide of the knife, Sage relaxed more and more. I didn’t voice my approval, just nodded when he finished a vegetable and looked at me for permission to move onto the next.
The whole thing took a good half hour, but by the time he was done, he was breathing easier and his frame looked looser. At some point Daisy had sat down at the table, but I hadn’t looked at her and neither had Sage.
More proof he was where he needed to be.
“We’re going to eat and then you’re going to clean the dishes, then this kitchen.”
“Yes, Sir,” Sage agreed. I put my hand on the back of his neck and clasped it gently.
“You did good, my boy,” I said softly.
Sage sucked in a deep breath and nodded.
I let my hand linger as I took in his breathing. I let my fingers slide along his throat and felt that his pulse was slow and steady.
Yeah, he was back with me.
Fully and completely.
“Clean this up,” I said as I motioned to the salad fixings. “Then serve the food.”
Sage jumped up to do my bidding. I finally cast a glance at Daisy, but for once, I couldn’t read what she was thinking.
On the one hand, I wanted to apologize for how all of this must have looked to her, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to give her even an inkling that I was ashamed of what Sage and I had. I’d wanted to believe that she was someone who’d understand, but maybe I was asking too much.
I returned my gaze to Sage as he got things ready. I made sure to give him small corrections now and then as he worked and when we were sitting down to eat, I told him exactly how much food to eat, what order to eat it in, and that he had to eat it all.
I was taking things to the extreme, but I knew Sage needed that tonight.
Dinner was a quiet affair, and I stayed with Sage in the kitchen while he cleaned up. Daisy excused herself shortly after she finished eating. I highly suspected she’d be gone by morning and while that tore at something deep inside of me, I had to believe it was for the best.