“Two?” Vincent asked.
“Yeah, apparently there was a Rottweiler too, at some point. He lives with Logan and Dom’s oldest son and his fiancé. Baby.”
“Baby? They named their dog Baby?”
“They named their highly trained, champion bloodlines guard dog, Baby,” I clarified. “Nathan liked the name.”
“What?” Vincent asked. “Nathan was talking to Logan about this?”
“More like asking questions… like how exactly one turned a highly trained guard dog into a couch potato. When exactly did you and Nathan come to this little arrangement of yours?” I asked, hiding the smile that was threatening to tug at the corners of my mouth.
“About half an hour ago.”
“So just to be clear, you made a deal with Nathan about getting guard dogs in exchange for wearing the dreaded bow tie after Nathan got tips from Logan on how to un-train a highly trained guard dog?”
“That bastard broken-watched me,” Vincent said with a shake of his head.
“Oh yeah, he did,” I said as I moved to stand in front of him and lifted the collar of his shirt. “Guess I’m not the only one having awesome angry sex tonight,” I added.
I rolled my eyes when Vincent’s brow lifted. It was funny how there were so many things about my friend that were different now. I hardly recognized him, and that was a very, very good thing. He’d been a bitter, distant, emotionally withdrawn man from the moment I’d met him when he’d discovered me standing over his brother’s grave ten years earlier. Pierce had talked about his little brother a lot, but even the man he’d described before Vincent’s life had gone to hell didn’t match the man in front of me.
“He’d be so proud of you, Vincent,” I murmured.
He didn’t need to ask who I was talking about.
“You think?”
There was just the smallest hint of vulnerability in the question. Vincent and I hadn’t ever really talked about Pierce, but that had been because of me, not him. The wound had just been too raw, even after so many years. Even now, there was that familiar ache in my chest, though it wasn’t as profound as it used to be.
“I know,” I assured him. “He always talked about how proud he was of you for standing up to your father to protect David.”
David had been Vincent’s boyfriend from the time they were kids. After coming out to their parents, David had been disowned. Vincent had been a year older and already destined to join the military when David had been turned out. Despite his own parents’ disgust when they learned their son was gay, Vincent had used their one weak spot against them to get what he’d wanted. He’d threatened not to enlist if his parents wouldn’t let David live with them until the younger boy was old enough to join the army. For a career military family like the St. James, the threat had been like sacrilege and the couple had caved. Sadly, David had taken his own life a couple of years before Pierce died.
I quickly got Vincent’s bow tie situated, then turned his collar back down. I checked his appearance from behind him as he studied himself in the mirror.
“God, I wish he was here,” Vincent murmured.
“Me too,” I said. And it was true. I couldn’t wrap my head around what something like that would have meant when it came to the two men I’d fallen in love with, but it didn’t matter. Because as badly as I wanted to see Pierce again, hold him, I wanted it more for Vincent. As honored as I was to stand beside him tonight while he said his vows, it should have been Pierce.
“He would have wanted this for you,” Vincent said softly. I looked at him in the mirror. I knew what he was talking about.
“You don’t think he thinks I’m betraying him?”
“I think he finally gets to truly rest in peace.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered.
Vincent turned to face me.
“I didn’t get to see you guys together, but I didn’t need to, Everett. My brother loved the military more than anything in this world, yet he gave it up for you. I think that kind of love doesn’t just end. I know everyone says heaven is this happy place where no bad shit happens, but you know my feelings on all that,” he said. “I choose to believe that wherever my brother is, wherever David is, it’s some place where they’re able to watch over us. I think they feel our pain and our joy and everything in between. But I don’t think they can ever find true peace until they know we’re okay… really okay. Pierce has watched you mourn him for more than ten years, Ev, but that’s the last thing he would have wanted for you.”
I knew he was right, but it was hard to fathom having been able to live my life any differently.