When Phoenix stepped away from the bed, I covered Amani’s hand with my own, but didn’t say anything. I just gave her fingers a squeeze and then left the room to where Phoenix was waiting in the hallway. I could see it killed him to have to walk out of there without her. I rubbed his arm and his eyes met mine. Then he did something that surprised me. He reached for Henry.
Without hesitation, I handed the baby to him. I had no doubt it probably hurt to see another child so full of life, but I didn’t see anything in Phoenix’s gaze that said he begrudged the baby in any way. He settled Henry in one arm and smiled when the little boy gave him a huge grin. Then Phoenix put his hand at my back to urge me down the hallway.
On the way towards the exit, he did something I’d been dreaming of from almost the first day I’d met him.
He reached down and grabbed my hand in his.
And held it all the way to the car.
Chapter 18
Phoenix
“Do you know where the salt is?”
I glanced at Levi and motioned to the container of salt next to the big pot of water that was just starting to boil on the stove. “Next to you,” I said.
To say he was distracted was an understatement. In the two weeks since I’d been working with him in the soup kitchen each night, I’d never seen him so scattered…not since that first night when I’d intervened between him and T.
“Oh, right.”
He reached for it, but then hesitated.
“You already added it to the water,” I offered, since I knew that was what he was struggling to remember.
His gaze shifted to mine, but he didn’t say anything. He looked tired…and dejected.
Despite the great day we’d had at a local petting zoo with Henry, Levi had been distracted all day. He’d checked his phone several times throughout the day, though he’d tried to be discreet about it. I suspected it had something to do with how he’d gotten the bruises, but since he wasn’t talking about it, I was at a loss.
I hadn’t believed his story about it being an accident at work. I knew it was likely another run-in with T, but I couldn’t discount that it could have just as easily been his father as well. I cursed myself for not having been around to intercede, but I’d needed to be at the rehab center to discuss the result of Amani’s brain scan and I’d thought Levi was safe at work.
I knew Levi was on the cusp of trying to get out of whatever tentative relationship we seemed to be forming, because every time he looked at me, he seemed to grow even more despondent. I was on the verge of telling him the truth about who I was, but I needed to reach out to Ronan first. I was certain that if I showed Ronan that Levi was no threat to Seth and that he hadn’t gotten off scot-free after the attacks, that the other man would back off. But the big sticking point was, I had absolutely no proof he wasn’t a threat.
I believed it in my heart, but Ronan wouldn’t accept anything but concrete proof…not when his husband’s life was at stake.
I didn’t know what the fuck I’d do if I couldn’t convince Ronan. The logical answer was to take Levi and run, but I couldn’t leave my daughter. I wouldn’t. As much as I loved Levi, and I’d come to accept that I was, in fact, in love with him, I knew that just wasn’t an option for me.
The alternative was to help Levi go into hiding, but then I wouldn’t be able to protect him. If Ronan sent someone else after him, he wouldn’t last five minutes on his own.
As I finished rinsing the dish I’d been cleaning and set it in the dishrack to dry, my gaze shifted back to Levi who was still standing in front of the pot of water, which was now rapidly boiling. The salt was still in his hands. He was staring at the water, but not really seeing it. I went over to him and put my arms around his waist. I used one hand to free the salt from his iron grip.
“No, I need to add that,” he said half-heartedly as he reached for the salt.
“You already added it,” I murmured and then I kissed his neck.
“Fuck,” he whispered before he shut his eyes.
I was about to plead with him to tell me what the hell was going on, but a discreet cough had me pulling back a little and both of us turned to see Father O standing a few feet away. His face was drawn tight and my initial thought was that he wasn’t happy to see Levi in my arms. The Catholic faith wasn’t exactly accepting of people like Levi and me and as much as I liked Father O, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d put his religion’s antiquated beliefs first. I half-expected Levi to panic about being caught in an intimate embrace with me, but he didn’t seem concerned.