Laughing, we jumped apart. Phoenix’s eyes were warm as he snagged the discarded hand towel off the counter and used it to wipe at my face. “Thanks,” I said with a smile.
He held my gaze for a moment and then began wiping off the rest of me. I didn’t even notice what he was doing until he said, “Oh, hey, looks like this is coming off. I’ll go find you another one.”
I looked down to see Phoenix carefully peeling the soaking wet large Band-Aid from the inside of my wrist.
“No, it’s fine!” I yelled as I tried to stop him, but I wasn’t fast enough.
The silence between us was thick as we both stared at what I’d been using the large bandage to hide.
And then Phoenix lifted his icy eyes to meet mine and I knew my days of pretending had come to an end.
Chapter 12
Phoenix
A swastika.
He had a fucking swastika tattooed on the inside of his wrist.
The betrayal was instant and brutal.
“Phoenix,” Levi whispered.
“Don’t,” I said quietly as I stepped away from him. I’d been such a fucking fool. My entire job depended on my ability to judge people and I’d completely missed the mark on this man. After the day I’d spent with Levi and Henry, I’d been convinced that Levi was innocent…no, not of the crime seven years ago, but of everything that had come after. He’d been trying to do good with his life. Volunteering, being a father to the little boy who needed him…
“Please, Phoenix, just let me explain,” Levi begged. His eyes were pooling with tears, but for once, I didn’t feel the need to comfort him.
“I get it,” I bit out. “Doesn’t get any clearer than that,” I said, motioning to the tattoo. It was no bigger than the size of a half-dollar, but it might as well have been the size of the moon. My anger was threatening to consume me so I moved farther away from Levi. As much as he disgusted me, I didn’t want to hurt him.
Why the fuck hadn’t I just done my damn job?
Levi tried to grab my arm, but I jerked it from his grasp, making him let out a little whimper. I turned to leave the kitchen so I could pull myself together, but he stepped into my path.
“Please, I’m begging you-”
“Get the fuck out of my way, Levi,” I snapped. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I really need a goddamn minute right now.”
I stormed past him, ignoring the sob that tore free from his throat. I went out to the alley and wished like hell T would be waiting out there, but the bastard hadn’t shown his face since the day I’d intervened on Levi’s behalf.
The day I’d chosen him over my family.
“Fuck!” I yelled and then I rammed my fist into the wall. Not hard enough to break my hand, but enough to have it hurt like a motherfucker. I’d definitely have bruises.
I was half-tempted to leave, but I couldn’t do that to the people who were counting on me tonight. I might have started this whole volunteering gig to keep a closer eye on Levi, but I’d found myself putting more into it and getting more out of it than I’d anticipated. I’d started interacting with some of the people who used the soup kitchen’s services and while I didn’t know all their stories, I’d seen enough to know that my contribution made a difference.
I gave myself five minutes to calm down before I went back into the building. Levi wasn’t in the kitchen, but I didn’t really care. I kept myself busy by cleaning up the mess we’d made with the water, but all that did was cause my temper to notch up again as I remembered how eagerly Levi had kissed me back and how good he’d felt in my arms.
And how damn beautiful his laugh was.
Five minutes passed, then another five before I started to wonder if Levi had left. I hadn’t seen him leave through the back entrance, but he could have gone through the church’s front entrance. But I doubted he’d bail on his responsibilities. I waited a few more minutes and then began looking for him. I told myself it was because we needed to finish up the dinner preparations, but I knew that was a lie. Now that my immediate anger had started to die down, I couldn’t help but remember the way he’d begged me to hear him out.
When I reached the back rooms, I noticed the door to the small bedroom was closed, so I figured that was his likely hiding spot. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I started to get nervous as I remembered his breakdown this morning in my bathroom.
“Levi,” I called as I knocked again. Still no answer. I expected the door to be locked as I turned the knob, but it wasn’t. The room was dim since only the small lamp on the nightstand was on, but there was enough light for me to see Levi sitting on the bed with his right arm balanced on his lap. It took me several long seconds to understand what I was seeing.