“That’s not really what you want to ask me, is it?” I countered.
An uncomfortable sensation floated through my chest as I watched Levi bend his upper body over his legs and let his clasped hands dangle just above his knees. His demeanor was much like what it had been in the alley after the rough blowjob.
“If you tell me who he is, I can help you,” I said, shocking even myself. But every time I tried to remind myself that this guy deserved everything he got, I saw him spitting out that cum, his eyes empty, his body broken. It was like he’d accepted that all he’d ever be was some guy who belonged on all fours in a dirty alley surrounded by garbage, waiting for the next man to come along and use his body.
As much as I detested him for what he’d done to Seth and his family, I’d seen enough in the last hour to know he hadn’t walked away unscathed. But I also still had more questions than answers. And the bottom line was that I didn’t believe in making people suffer for their crimes. I’d joined Ronan’s team to make sure justice got served, not to inflict the same torment on my marks that they’d inflicted upon others. Maybe it was a fine line that separated me from the monsters I hunted, but it was there just the same and I knew what side of it I wanted…no, needed to be on.
Levi hung there dejectedly for a moment before saying, “You should go, Phoenix. I really appreciate what you did for me in the alley, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here.”
When he got up to leave, I grabbed his wrist to keep him next to me. He shuddered and I heard him let out a wisp of air, but he didn’t try to pull free of me. On the one hand, I was glad he wasn’t fighting me, but on the other, I kind of wished he would.
“Why not?” I asked. “Why shouldn’t I be here?”
Levi finally lifted his head and turned to meet my gaze. My heart hurt for him as I saw the tears pooling there. “Because I’d be too tempted to take you up on your offer. What you saw out in that alley…I deserved it…I earned it,” he whispered. His tears fell and he pulled free of my hold so he could dash them away. He let out a wet-sounding laugh. “Father O keeps telling me God’s watching over me…that he loves me no matter what and he’ll forgive me for all of my sins.” Levi shook his head. “I don’t have the heart to tell him God gave up on me a long time ago.”
I let him go when he stood and left the room.
Because no matter what, I wasn’t going to tell the man I’d been sent to kill that his life was worth fighting for.
Even if the tiniest part of me was beginning to wonder if maybe it was.
Chapter 5
Levi
He was waiting for me when I walked through the door leading into the alley. I thought he was T at first when I saw him in my periphery, but my relief as I took in his hulking frame as he leaned against the wall where T had fucked my mouth just a few hours earlier was short-lived as I realized what his presence meant.
Either he hadn’t believed my earlier words or he hadn’t cared.
The flare of hope that sparked deep inside my belly as Phoenix straightened and began walking towards me felt ugly and wrong. And I knew why.
Because I’d wanted him to be there waiting for me.
It was all I’d thought about as I’d worked to get dinner ready.
Darkness was just starting to fall so it was hard to make out Phoenix’s expression until he stepped into the light that was coming from just above the door. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected to see, but it certainly wasn’t the tense anger that lined his face.
Okay, so maybe he hadn’t stayed behind to talk more. Maybe whatever I’d done to piss him off was about to come back and bite me in the ass. I dropped my gaze to his hands which were fisted. God, the damage he could do with them. The little flutter in my belly that hadn’t left in the three hours since I’d first interacted with him turned into a sharp pang of terror and I automatically stepped away from him until my back hit the door behind me.
I was surprised when he paused briefly and then relaxed his hands. The expression in his gaze eased too, but then he was moving again until he was practically in my space.
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
“No,” I automatically said. “That’s not necessary.”