I let him walk in front of me as I tried to absorb the possibility that the young man Brennan had insisted was straight actually wasn’t. Had Brennan lied to me? I hated that that was where my mind automatically went, but I was struggling with any other possible explanation. I watched as Tristan reached Brennan and Brennan automatically wrapped his arm around Tristan’s shoulders. The gesture could have been a brotherly one, but it could have been more too.
I shoved the thought from my head because it didn’t matter. Tristan was my concern in this moment. I lengthened my strides so that I could move past the young men and show them the way into the house.
While most of the properties near the large lake in the foothills of Mt. Hood were cabins, I’d opted to build a more modern home with all the amenities, since I’d always planned to live in the house year-round. I hadn’t spared any expense when it had come to things like comfort and convenience, but I hadn’t built a huge house that I had no use for.
I led Brennan and Tristan through the side door by the three car garage and got them settled in the living room. Brennan directed Tristan to the couch and sat down next to him, his arm still around Tristan’s shoulders. I waited for the jealously to consume me, but surprisingly, it was absent. In its place was a feeling of relief that Tristan was getting the comfort he clearly needed.
“Do you guys want something to drink? Coffee?” I asked.
It was Brennan who spoke up. “He has to take his medicine. Do you have something he can eat?”
I nodded and Brennan turned his attention back to Tristan. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
Tristan managed to nod, but nothing else. He sat numbly as Brennan got up and as I led Brennan to the kitchen, I cast a glance over my shoulder to see that the young man didn’t move, didn’t look around…didn’t do anything that indicated he was aware of his surroundings. Once we reached the kitchen, Brennan seemed to go on autopilot because he pulled what looked like a pill organizer from his pocket. But when he began to struggle with getting it open, I put my hand over his shaking ones and whispered, “Take a breath, okay? You got him here…he’s safe now.”
Brennan refused to look at me as he nodded and he drew in a deep breath.
“Tell me what he needs to eat,” I said.
“Um, some toast with butter or jam would be good if you have it. Or some fruit.”
“How about both?” I suggested as I started grabbing ingredients from the fridge.
“Yeah, both,” Brennan said as he visibly began to relax. He got the pill organizer open and poured a small pile of pills onto a paper towel.
“What about to drink?”
“Nothing with a lot of sugar. Water is good. He likes milk too…”
I put the bread on the counter and then found a small plastic container for Brennan to put the pills in. He separated each pill and then seemed to study the entire bunch for several long seconds before he seemed satisfied. When he realized I was watching him he murmured, “He can’t miss even one so you have to make sure they’re all there.” He took the plastic container from me and said, “Thanks,” and then put the pills in the container.
“What are they for?” I asked as I motioned to the pills.
Brennan hesitated and then softly said, “He’s HIV-positive.”
I would have liked to say the revelation didn’t faze me, but that was complete horseshit. I stood there in complete shock, a piece of bread in one hand, a stick of butter in the other, as my gut churned. The idea that the quiet, beautiful young man in the other room was stricken with such a serious disease had me leaning against the counter as I tried to take it all in.
“Jesus,” I muttered.
“He’s doing really well,” Brennan said in a rush. “His viral load is undetectable and has been for most of his life. You can’t catch it or anything just by him being here.”
I flashed Brennan an irritated look and he immediately shook his head. “Sorry,” he said.
I put down the food I was preparing and gently forced his chin up and brushed a kiss over his lips. “Let’s get this done so we can get back to him.”
Brennan nodded shakily and then began cutting up an apple while I prepared the bread. We worked in silence getting everything together and I headed back to the living room while Brennan stayed back to pour Tristan some milk and grab the pills. I paused when I saw that my cat had made herself at home on Tristan’s lap and was bumping her head up against his chin to get him to give her even more attention than he already was. But it wasn’t my cat’s intrusive antics that had me watching the pair in fascination – it was the smile on Tristan’s face as he stroked the fluffy white animal and then leaned his head down to nuzzle her face. And when he lifted his eyes to me, the smile still in place, I felt it like a punch to the gut.