Please.
One word that would have sounded like a normal sign of pleasure from an ordinary lover, but from Brennan it had actually sounded painful. And I’d realized how close he was and needed help to go over. I’d never in my life seen someone so desperate to come…felt it in every look, every harsh breath, every whispered word. I could have fucked him then and there and made quick work of getting us both off, but I’d been so intrigued by the mix of fear and hope in his voice, that I’d needed something more from the act.
And never in a million years would I regret what I’d done. Because watching Brennan come apart like that, feeling it…
I hadn’t even thought once about my own pleasure as I’d sent my young lover over the edge. And while I suspected his need had had little do to with any one particular physical thing I’d done to him to drive him into such a state, I was too afraid to consider what was really the driving factor behind the whole thing. Maybe he was like that with all his lovers.
I hadn’t dwelled on it too much because I was actually afraid of the answer either way. I’d simply held him and brought him down and then started to work him back up. It hadn’t take long at all to get him back with me and my own intense need had ratcheted up even higher when Brennan had stroked my face after letting me know he was still with me.
But as soon as I’d flipped him over, I’d felt the change in him. It was normal for a guy to be a little tense when taking on a new lover for the first time, but Brennan’s body had been drawn so tight that no amount of my prepping him would have relaxed him. Even as I’d pushed my finger into his body, he hadn’t seemed to know what to do to ease the discomfort and the warning bells had started ringing. The crescendo had come when he’d cried out into the pillow he’d been holding onto with a near death grip.
The idea that Brennan hadn’t ever allowed another man to take him shouldn’t have brought me so much pleasure. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
No, it was those two fucking words.
I am.
No way in hell was I the someone he should share something so important with. No fucking way. But I didn’t say that as I let my body sink farther down on him, his chilled skin once again finally warming up.
It was sex damn it! Fucking. Nothing else. Why the hell had he gone and changed the rules on me? And why the hell was that fact not going to change anything?
Not a damn thing.
I used my arms to lift myself off of Brennan just a little bit and said, “Turn over.”
His eagerness to do my bidding was just another nail in my coffin. No one, not even the man I’d spent so much of my adult life wanting more than anything else, had ever had such an effect on me as the young man lying beneath me.
I kissed Brennan slowly and thoroughly until he began pushing his hips up against mine and his hands gripped my back desperately. But it wasn’t until he was bucking desperately beneath me that I reached for the packet of lube and the condom lying on the bed just a few inches from our hot, sweaty bodies. I had to release Brennan long enough to get the condom on and cover it with lube as well as put a generous amount on my finger, but Brennan barely seemed to notice because the second I was done, he wrapped himself completely around me and his mouth skimmed over any part of me he could reach. He locked his legs around my ass and I actually regretted having to put some space between us so that I could maneuver my hand between our bodies. Brennan dropped his legs and I used my arm to drape his right one over my shoulder. The position gave me the access I needed, but the second I touched Brennan’s hole, his body locked up tight.
I kept my hand where it was and lowered myself to my side, rolling Brennan to his side in the process so that we ended up facing each other. I wrapped my free arm around his shoulders and kissed him until he relaxed.
“Put your leg over my hip,” I ordered gently, and he did it without hesitation. When I began massaging him, I also kissed him and I began murmuring soft words in his ear telling him how good he felt and to relax. But it wasn’t until I told him how pretty his hole would look once it was open for me, that Brennan physically responded and pushed against my finger.