We stood there like that for several long seconds until a door opening somewhere jolted us both and Mav dropped his hand. “Nice work. Let’s work on another one.”
And with that, whatever moment there’d been between us disappeared and Mav went back to how he’d been when we’d started this whole thing. Distant, clinical…a stranger.
We spent another hour in the gym going through the four moves Mav wanted me to learn and while I hadn’t had another cathartic episode, my body was buzzing with excitement. While I wasn’t ready to take on someone of Mav’s size and strength, at least now maybe I had a fighting chance. I just hoped my instinct to fight would kick in even when my brain sought to escape into the world I’d created so long ago where nothing could touch me.
Mav grabbed us a couple of waters from a small refrigerator on one side of the gym and I watched as he took several long swallows from his. I could feel my body reacting to the sight of the muscles in his neck working and I actually had to turn away from him so he wouldn’t see my dick swelling behind the thin material of my pants.
“You mind if I take a quick shower before I take you home?”
“No,” I murmured. “I could just call a cab if it’s an inconvenience.”
“Don’t worry about it,” was all Mav said as he threw the empty bottle into the recyclable container next to the refrigerator. “Why don’t you come on upstairs to my room? You can watch TV or something. And if you want to shower-” Mav’s voice dropped off as his eyes fell on me and I realized he must have seen the fear that I couldn’t hide.
Shame went through me at the knee jerk reaction. If Mav had wanted to do something to me, he would have done it a long time ago. But I didn’t know how to explain to him that it had nothing to do with him.
“You know what, never mind. I’ll have the front desk call you a cab.”
Mav turned to go and I felt a moment of panic that it would be the last time I’d get to talk to him if I didn’t do something. I grabbed his arm and stepped in front of him. “Mav, wait, please.”
He stopped, but he didn’t look happy about it. I tried to search for the right words to say, but I couldn’t figure out how to tell him that the events of my past still shaped everything I did today…that in so many ways, I was still the same fifteen-year-old kid who’d never been kissed but had been fucked more times than he could count and who knew how to suck cock like a pro…because that’s what he’d been.
But I couldn’t tell him that. Because I didn’t want to see the disgust in his eyes that I knew would be there if he knew the truth about me…that or worse, he’d look at me the way all those men had looked at me. Like I was garbage. Theirs to use and throw away when they were done with me.
“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” I finally blurted out.
I was as surprised by the offer as Mav seemed to be, but the idea didn’t terrify me like it should have. “Um, I could cook for you…at my place. As a thank you for today.”
Mav was quiet for so long that I began to shift uncomfortably in place. I was on the verge of telling him to forget it when he said, “I’d love to.”
The relief was overwhelming and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips. “Okay,” I managed to get out.
“Did you want to wait down here or come up to my room?” Mav ventured.
I took a deep breath and said, “I’ll come up.”
Mav nodded and I followed him from the gym. We didn’t speak as we got onto the elevator and while my nerves had started to return, the fear wasn’t there like I would have expected. I lost track of what floor we were on because I’d spent most of the elevator ride staring at my shoes, but when the doors slid open, I followed Mav to his room which turned out to be a suite that included a kitchen and living space.
“Make yourself at home,” Mav said. “There’s food and drinks in the fridge. I’ll just be a couple of minutes.”
I nodded and watched him head towards the bedroom which was separated from the rest of the living area by a set of double sliding doors. I assumed the bathroom was attached to the bedroom. I was about to turn to try and find the remote for the TV when I saw Mav reach for the hem of his shirt as he neared the bedroom. I actually had to stifle a moan when the shirt came off and revealed a tattoo of two huge snakes, their heads curled over the backs of Mav’s shoulder muscles and their winding bodies covering the expanse of his back and disappearing beneath his pants. That tattoo on its own stole my breath, but add in the way Mav’s muscles flexed as he moved and I actually had to grab a hold of the kitchen counter to steady myself.