“What the fuck are you doing?” Hawke snapped.
I knew I needed to say something, but the reality was that I’d been caught red-handed. “I’m sorry,” I managed to say, though my fear kicked up to new heights as Hawke stared down at me. At some point while I’d been studying the picture, I’d sat down on the edge of my own bed so I felt even smaller as the bigger man towered above me, his fury written all over his features.
Hawke’s fingers dug into the picture and his other hand clenched into a tight fist that had veins bulging up and down his entire arm. He’d changed into a pair of athletic pants and a black T-shirt and his hair was still wet.
I shook my head, desperate to find the right thing to say. “I’m sorry, I saw the picture in your house and I was curious-”
“She’s not a part of this!” Hawke shouted. “Do you understand me?”
I didn’t. Not at all. His anger was over the top and I stood up so I could try to ease my way to the bathroom. If I just got out of his sight for a while…
“I didn’t mean to upset you-”
Before I could even finish, Hawke was closing the distance between us, the picture forgotten as he tossed it on top of his bag. I froze as he grabbed me by the upper arms, his hold bordering on painful. I expected him to yell at me or hit me, but all he did was hold me like that, his body seething with rage.
But his next words nearly stole my breath.
“I don’t want you,” he said in a gutted whisper.
I couldn’t even register what he meant until he gave me just the slightest shake and again said, “I don’t want you.” But even I heard the doubt in his voice and I realized the fury in his gaze wasn’t about me at all, or at least not about what I’d done.
I was at a complete loss to even comprehend what was happening. I’d been so sure that I’d only imagined that Hawke was feeling the same pull of desire that I was, but now as I watched him drawing in ragged breaths, his tormented eyes holding mine, I knew I’d been wrong. But whatever he was feeling wasn’t something he wanted to be feeling. At some point, his hold had loosened enough so that he could rub his thumbs back and forth over my skin and the effect was intoxicating. I could feel my own body tightening up with excitement and my adrenaline spiked as my need to escape him disintegrated. But I couldn’t ignore the naked pain in his gaze. As much as I wanted him, I knew he needed to make the next move and I would accept it, whatever it was.
“I know,” I said gently. “It’s okay, Hawke.”
I could see his body warring with his mind and I didn’t know which one had won the battle until his hands tightened on me. A sudden rush of air escaped his lungs, but instead of drawing me closer, he released me long enough to reach for the button on my jeans. My need grew to exponential proportions as he jerked the button free, dragged the zipper down and shoved my pants and underwear down in one quick move, his rough palms dragging over my skin. A split second later he spun me around and shoved me down on the bed. I got no reprieve as his hands closed over my hips and he yanked my ass up. His fingers bit into my skin as he split me open and a tremor of fear and excitement went through me when I felt moisture dribble onto my hole.
I closed my eyes as more of what I now realized was spit coated my opening. I had seconds to stop this because I knew what was coming. But I remained silent as I felt Hawke’s cock push between my cheeks. More spit hit my ass a second before the broad head of Hawke’s dick suddenly shoved inside of me without warning or finesse. Pain tore through me as my body tried to accept the intrusion, but there was no time to adjust as Hawke pulled back just a little before slamming his hips forward again. Tears stung my eyes as another wave of pain went through me, but I bit into my lip to stop myself from making any kind of sound.
To my surprise, Hawke suddenly stopped all together and when I looked over my shoulder at him, I saw him looking at where we were joined and I saw shame flash across his face. But I also saw something else. Need…raw and unbridled. He lifted his eyes to mine and when our gazes met, he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something. But he didn’t speak, he just stood there, his fingers digging into my hips, his cock pulsing in my ass. And he shook his head just slightly. Whatever internal struggle he was going through hurt me more than the physical pain that was still thrumming throughout my entire body and that was why I gave him a brief, but very clear nod. He didn’t move for several long seconds, but I didn’t miss the relief on his face. And then he drew back and slammed into me again, driving more of his cock inside of me.