“However,” she continued. “I am running a business. And my business model depends on my being paid. On time and in full.”
“Of course,” I muttered, duly chastened. “Sorry, Valentina.”
Valentina waved away my apology. “I lent you that money as a friend, Grant, but it was not an insignificant amount. I don’t want to have to regret that generosity.”
“I know,” I mumbled. “I am sorry; it won’t happen again.” I well remembered having to ask Valentina for that money, how ashamed I had felt. Valentina had offered it without blinking an eye, for which I would be forever grateful. I’d never been able to bring myself to mention it to the guys, couldn’t bear the thought of them looking at me with any more pity than they already did. I know they wondered why I insisted that we keep our two night a week booking at the Ball, even after Bernadette. I didn’t know how to explain to them that without my cut of the payment for those shows, I would never be able to pay back Valentina.
“Excellent,” Valentina said. She nodded slightly at Heath, who shifted away from the door. “I’m so glad we had this chat.”
I finally escaped, hoping beyond hope that it wasn’t too late; that the girl was still here. A quick glance around the house told me that she was gone, and my heart sank. She had gone home. I would probably never see her again.
A new, worse thought occurred to me: what if she was upstairs? Worse, what if she was upstairs with one of my bandmates?
With that thought in mind, I set off for the back staircase, heading toward an area I hadn’t visited in over a year.
Before I could go far, two girls stepped into my path, giggling and nudging each other. I sighed internally, hoping I could shake them quickly. It wasn’t uncommon for girls in the audience to approach me after a show. Before Bernadette, I had enjoyed it, enjoyed flirting with the girls, sometimes more. Since Bernadette, though, I had come to dread it.
“Hi,” one of the girls said, still giggling. This one was tall, with long, red hair that she kept tossing back over her shoulder. Her friend was a little shorter, with shoulder-length, dark curly hair. “I’m Hannah, and this is my friend, Rachel.”
Rachel, the shorter girl, smiled up at me shyly, gazing up at me from heavily lidded eyes.
“Hi,” I said shortly.
“You’re Grant, right?” redheaded Hannah asked, and I nodded. “We just love you,” she gushed. “We saw you over here, and we just had to say hi. Right, Rachel?”
Rachel nodded, still smiling shyly.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” I said. I looked past them, toward the door leading to the back staircase, hoping they would get the hint and let me leave, but no such luck.
“Are you doing anything now?” Hannah asked, twisting a long strand of red hair around her finger. “Do you want to party with us?”
I sighed. I had been hoping to avoid this. “I appreciate the offer, girls, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to politely decline.”
Hannah pouted in what I’m sure she thought was an extremely alluring way. “Are you sure?” she asked. “We heard there’s someplace upstairs we can go.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” I lied. The girls were cute, and once upon a time, I might have jumped at the chance to take them both upstairs with me, but that time was long over. Now, I couldn’t get away from them quickly enough. “If you’ll excuse me—” I tried to step around them, but Hannah intercepted me.
“Really?” she asked. “Because we heard that the band has secret sex rooms upstairs.” I nearly laughed aloud. Was that the story that was getting around now?
“We think we could have a lot of fun together,” dark-haired Rachel put in, speaking for the first time. Her voice was low and sultry, and almost certainly an affectation. I wasn’t swayed.
“I’m sorry, girls, I’m just not interested,” I said, as gently as I could, and their faces fell.
“What’s wrong with us?” Hannah pouted again.
“Absolutely nothing,” I assured them. This was the truth. Any other red-blooded man would have called me crazy for turning down a sure thing with two beautiful young girls, but I had lost all interest in sex a year ago. That was why I needed to find the girl from the band. I needed to talk to her, needed to understand what was different about her, what drew me to her when I thought that part of me was long dead.
“Excuse me,” I said, sidestepping the two girls and walking quickly away, leaving them disappointed and pouting in my wake.
12
Ella
Alone with Peter, I was coming to regret agreeing to let him show me around. I wished we had stayed in the main room, where we might be surrounded by naked people, but at least I could be sure of the relative safety of being in a crowd.