The phone rang in my hand, and I answered it with a cheery, “Hi.”
Dmitri said, “You’re kidding, right? You didn’t just tell the police department that you’re dating me, did you?”
“I did.”
“Christ, Jamie. You didn’t tell me you were doing that.”
“I know. Hang on one second, ok?” Without waiting for a reply, I pressed the phone against my chest and stepped through the door to Human Resources.
Gloria, the admin assistant, took a look at the form I handed her and said, “Hi Jamie. You know, if you’re going on vacation, this is the wrong form.”
“It’s the right form, Gloria. It’s not for a vacation.”
She looked at me for a minute, waiting for an explanation as to my leave of absence. When none came, she said, “You forgot to sign it. Bottom right,” and handed back the paper and a pen.
I scribbled my name and then gave her the form, and left with an upbeat, “Thanks, Gloria.”
I caught a glimpse of her staring after me and picking up the phone right before the door swung shut. Gloria was a major gossip and also good friends with my oldest sister Carol, who worked as a dispatcher out of Central. I’d bet a paycheck that was who Gloria was calling to get the scoop on my unexplained departure.
Carol wouldn’t know, of course. And who would she call to find out why I was taking a week off out of the blue? Our father. Who’d then call Halpern. Who’d find out I never went to see my dad. Ugh.
I put the phone back to my ear. “Hey, Dmitri, I need to make another call. Talk to you later, ok?”
“Jamie, what are you doing?”
“I have to call my dad and tell him I’m dating a suspected felon, before my sister alerts him that something’s up or my police captain calls and tells him. It’s best he hears it from me. No offense intended, baby, on the suspected felon thing. I’ll talk to you soon.” I made a kissing sound and disconnected without waiting for his reply.
As I dialed my dad’s cell phone, I left the building and walked down the street to the Hyundai. The loaner car looked like green toxic sludge in the bright morning light. I slid behind the wheel and tossed my badge on the passenger seat.
Now here was a small mercy: I got my his voice mail. And I blurted into the phone, “Hey Dad, it’s Jamie. So listen, Mike Halpern’s going to call you in a bit. But before he does, I need to tell you something. I’m dating a suspected criminal. Specifically, I’m dating Dmitri Teplov. And actually, I think I’m in love with him. Ok, gotta go, Dad. Tell Mom hi for me. Talk to you soon.” I disconnected, then immediately shut the phone off. My Dad was going to shit a brick when he got that message. Best to let him cool off a bit before letting him yell at me.
I started to drive to my apartment, but realized that was the first place my family would look for me so they could scream at me. The beach was the second place they’d look. I was just postponing the inevitable, and soon I’d have to face them. But I just couldn’t deal with them yet, not right on the heels of dealing with Halpern. I needed a couple hours to mentally prepare myself. So I went to the very last place that anyone would ever look for me.
I went to the mall.
The Stonestown Galleria was pretty overwhelming, and I fortified myself with an extra large mocha and a bagel before venturing inside. And then I turned myself over to Justin, the overly perky sales associate in Macy’s men’s department and let him go full Jessica on me.
Three hours later, I pulled up outside my apartment building and quickly scanned the area for Nolans on a rampage. It appeared the coast was clear, so I grabbed my shopping bags from the trunk and hurried up to my apartment.
When I swung the door open, I was greeted with, “What did you do, Jamie?” Jess was coming out of my kitchen, barefoot and wearing a sleek black dress and yellow rubber gloves. She, of course, had a key to my apartment. And oh boy, was she angry – angry enough to clean.
“Hey Jess. What’re you doing here?”
“Rage-cleaning your kitchen. Oh my God, did you go shopping?”
I deposited the bags on my couch and said, “Yup. And I’ll bet you’re dying to see what I got.”
“Well, yes. But first I want to tell you that so far today, I’ve gotten a total of seventeen calls from your family, all wanting to know where you are, and all wanting to find out what I know about your relationship with Dmitri Teplov.”
“Shit, Jess, I’m really sorry. I should have warned you.”