It was time to let go of some things. Not everything, but some. It was time to start clearing out and healing. Derek had been right. I was letting it change who I was. And I was changing into someone Monica wouldn’t have liked. How could I honor her memory if I was doing the opposite of what she would have wanted from me?
I pulled back the covers of the bed and got undressed. Rather than showering, I just stripped down naked and decided to clean the sheets in the morning. When I peeled off my boxers, I had a sudden image of Ally. Her incredible body lying on my bed, a smile on her face, and the promise of release and warmth and comfort.
I shoved that thought down even as my cock hardened. This wasn’t about her. This was about me. I had to move on from Monica before I could even let my mind wander to another woman. In the morning, the chair would go to the garage. So would the one on the porch. Maybe if I didn’t see them every morning, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
8
Ally
My parents were waiting for me on the country porch that wrapped around their house. I always loved the color of the sprawling old Victorian. It looked like the color of butter, somewhere between white and yellow. It was a comforting kind of color that paired with the beautiful coastal surroundings to exude tranquility.
Knowing this was waiting for me was why I always started to relax and feel more at ease when I got to within a few miles of their home. I was glad I decided to take this time to spend with them. Not only would it be nice just to hang out with my parents because I hadn’t had the opportunity to in a while, but it would do me good to rest and relax for a little while.
I had been pushing myself hard, trying to balance the responsibility of doing my best work at both the restaurant and the vineyard. It was a lot, and it left me stressed and tired. That wasn’t the way I wanted to feel embarking on this new adventure. Instead, I wanted to feel rejuvenated and prepared to take on the major challenge we were gradually chipping away at.
My parents smiled and waved as I pulled into the driveway. They came down the steps to meet me before I even got to the house. Each wrapped their arms around me in a warm hug. That immediately made me feel better. No matter how old I got, I would never outgrow the need for a hug from my mother or father.
My father helped me with my luggage even though I told him I didn’t need him to. I hadn’t packed a huge amount, knowing they kept some clothes for me there just in case I ever needed them when I was visiting. But it made him feel good to help me lug the bags, so I let him do it. Mom led me up the porch steps and into the house. As soon as we went in, I could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen.
“What are you cooking?” I asked. “It smells wonderful.”
“Some pasta sauce,” Mom told me. “We had an incredible harvest from the garden this year, so I’m trying all kinds of recipes to use up the vegetables. My herb garden is building up nicely as well, so it seemed the perfect combination.”
I went into the kitchen and leaned down over the large simmering pot to breathe in more of the rich, spicy smell. Chunks of onions, yellow squash, zucchini, and vibrant colors of bell peppers swam around in the thick tomato sauce. It was heavily flavored with garlic and herbs, and my stomach growled. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until then.
“It’s been simmering for a few hours,” Mom said. “Why don’t you go get settled in, and I’ll make the pasta?”
I agreed and went into my old bedroom where there were hints of my life over the years since my parents bought this house. Our aging Lab, Cocoa, was on the shaggy white-and-green area rug in the middle of the floor, his legs stretched out in front of him and his tongue hanging out of the corner of his mouth.
He perked up and lifted his head as soon as he heard me coming into the room. I got down on the rug with him and leaned down to rest my head lightly on his side.
“You’re such a good boy,” I whispered to him. “Are you going to come on walks with me this week?”
Cocoa had been with family since I was a teenager and walks with him never failed to relax me and help me think. No matter what was going on in my life or in my mind, taking him out helped everything make more sense to me.