Straik squeezes my shoulder. "That happens sometimes when clones are illegally created. A legal creation is genetically marked with red skin so anyone looking at them knows they're a clone. They have identification numbers that can trace them back to the lab and batch they were created in. When illegal cloning happens, they try to hide it. Most likely they're passing each person off as a unique slave, as those bring in more money than a clone of a slave would."
I swallow hard. "So what happens when a clone is found out to be illegal?"
Straik is silent.
I look up at Dopekh, waiting for an answer. He doesn't disappoint. "Whichever is determined to be the copy is destroyed. The law is designed to punish those that would clone without permission and doesn't care about the clone itself."
My mouth goes dry. Instant death, no matter how innocent you are.
Straik rubs my shoulder. "We can test and determine which one of you is the clone and which isn't."
A hysterical laugh bubbles up in my throat, and I try not to think about the horrible gaps in my memory, the blank spots I know should somehow be filled. "And if we're both clones? Do we both get destroyed?"
"I'm not letting anything happen to you, Ruth," my mate says in a low, dangerous voice. "You think I'd let someone harm one hair on your head? I'd fight the entire universe to keep you safe. No one has to know if you're a clone or not. I'm only offering a test to give you peace of mind. It changes nothing for me. You're still my Ruth, my fierce, glorious mate."
"What if the authorities come after me? What if they find out I'm a clone?"
"Then we take down everyone and live our lives on the run." He shrugs. "I'm already a corsair, love. It's not as if hiding out from the law is new for me."
A choked sob escapes me and I fling my arms around his neck. "I love you so much."
"Everything will be fine, love. I promise you. I'll make it fine." Straik holds me tight, his words fierce. "I only brought her back to the ship so she couldn't be used against us. I hate that it's causing you so much distress."
I snuggle against him, tears leaking down my face. I think of the other Ruth—Ruthie. Is she the real thing and wondering why I'm wearing her face? Or am I? Or are we both clones and scared out of our minds? I need time to sort through this. "Can we sit here for a bit? Just so I can think?"
"For as long as you need," Straik agrees, and rubs my shoulder.
Dopekh takes a step back. "I'll check on the refueling progress. Kazex is with the ah, other female and I'll see if he needs anything." He gives me an understanding look. "You can talk to anyone on the crew. About anything. We'll understand."
I nod, grateful. "Thank you, Dopekh."
We remain on the lavatory floor for a long time. I stay in Straik's arms and let him pet me, murmuring soft words of support. I should be thinking about the other woman out there with my face, but instead, I just kind of collapse in my husband's arms and drift. I don't want to think about anything for a while, just him and his gentle, caring hands. After a few hours, my ass begins to ache, and I straighten up, groaning. "I guess I could have picked a better spot for a meltdown."
"This is fine." Straik runs his thumb along my cheek. "Did you figure out what you want to do?"
That question feels as if it has both a yes and no answer. "I don't want to test anything just yet. I don't want to know. Let me wonder for a while."
"Are you sure it's not wiser to just get it over with? Get an answer so you can process it?"
The thought makes me tired. I feel a bit like I've been jumping through hoop after bullshit hoop since I woke up in space. Straik has been the only thing that's made me happy, and I don't want to do anything to threaten it. "Keep her on board for now but…just keep her away from me. I'm going to need more than a few hours to figure out what the hell is going on in my head."
Straik nods. "Whatever you want, love."
To my surprise, I yawn. I'm exhausted and more than ready to nap. I thought I'd be far too worked up for that sort of thing but it turns out I'd really like to just retreat to bed and call it a day. "Can we go snuggle in bed? Or does the crew need you?"
"They can manage. I'll make sure Jerzec stays on top of the fueling situation and we'll get out of here the moment we're topped off. They don't need me for that." He gets to his feet and tugs me into his arms, lifting me off the floor. "But I know someone that does."