“We fight the Pale Queen with just the eight of us?” Dietmar asked skeptically. “I understood that even with all twelve we would be unlikely to win. With eight we are surely doomed.”
“That’s right, Captain Optimist,” Jarrah said.
“Here’s my idea,” Mack said. “We know we’re being followed on YouTube by all kinds of people. For example, the Lepercon battle has been viewed more than
‘Nyan Cat’ and a quarter as much as ‘Gangnam Style.’ And the Eiffel Tower thing is really blowing up, too.”
“It was trending on Twitter for days,” Rodrigo said. “Up until the Taylor Swift slap fight with Justin Bieber.”
“Then it’s time we put all that fame to use,” Mack said. “We need to send out a call for the remaining four to get to San Francisco!”
“But a bunch of nerds and weirdos will show up,” Charlie argued.
“He’s right,” Dietmar said. “How do we make sure only the right people, the four who possess the enlightened puissance, show up?”
“Simple,” Valin said, speaking up for the first time. He was not the least abashed about having practically tortured and nearly killed Mack. He seemed to think all was right with the world now. “If I understand Mack, he’s suggesting we make a YouTube appeal. Well then, we give them a Vargran spell that will transport them to San Francisco. It will only work for those who have the true enlightened puissance.”
Everyone nodded. Mack was even less happy about Valin coming up with a smart solution than he was when Dietmar did it. Dietmar was annoying, but he had never tried to get ants to bite Mack to death.
“Yes,” Mack said. “We put out a video. Like I said.” Then added, “It was my idea.”
“It will need to attract attention,” Rodrigo argued. “It will have to be something people want to watch.”
“Huh,” Stefan said, and snapped his fingers. What he meant was, “We get Taylor Swift to slap Mack!”
“Um . . . maybe not that,” Mack said. “We need to figure out the Vargran we need to transport ourselves to San Francisco. And then? We just keep the video rolling.”
“Who has the longest arms?” Jarrah asked.
That turned out to be Stefan. So Stefan held the phone out at arm’s length, and the nine of them crammed close together to all get into the picture. And once the video was rolling, Mack looked at the camera and began to speak.
“We are the Magnifica. Well, plus Stefan here. You may remember us from such videos as ‘Flying Eiffel Tower’ and ‘Loch Ness Duck’ and, especially, ‘The Cheese-filled Lepercons of Beijing.’ Well, now we have a great opportunity for you. There are four more of us out there, somewhere. Four twelve-year-olds with the enlightened puissance. We need you to join us in a final battle with the terrifying forces of evil that will almost certainly kill us all. So if that sounds like a good time . . .”
This was not coming out quite the way he had planned.
“But we also have some fun together,” he added lamely. “It’s not all danger and death. Anyway, look, unless you want to spend the rest of your life being dominated by the Pale Queen and her evil—attractive, sure, but evil—daughter, Risky, you have to come and help us.”
At this point Xiao took pity on Mack’s rambling and laid it out. “We will give you words of the Vargran tongue. If you speak them, and if you have the enlightened puissance, they will be a magical spell that will transport you instantly to San Francisco.”
“Just like we’re about to do,” Dietmar said. “If you don’t believe us, just watch.”
At that point Stefan shifted the camera because his arm was getting tired. The Magnifica formed up again, and Rodrigo did a countdown. “Tres . . . dos . . . uno!”
Eight voices chanted the words as one: “Fla-ma ik ag San Francisco!”
And just like that—as the soon-to-be-famous video showed—they were in San Francisco. In fact, they were in Golden Gate Park, where a thrown Frisbee hit Mack in the back of his head.
“We could have spared ourselves a lot of airline miles if we’d thought of that earlier,” Jarrah pointed out.
“Upload that video,” Mack instructed Stefan. “Then let’s find some food.”
Lingering in the restaurant after a massive lunch of sourdough pizza, sourdough soup, sourdough cioppino, and sourdough bread pudding—they’d been through a lot, so they were entitled—they checked the YouTube video. It already had tens of thousands of hits. And many comments, most of which were along the lines of, “This is a fake!” And also, “I tried the stupid spell and it didn’t work!” And of course, “Aaaarrggh GUHGUHGUH Pooooooo!”
But then, the YouTube comments section is not a place where geniuses hang out.
Xiao said, “Where might these new Magnifica arrive? It’s a big city, after all.”
“Right where we popped in?” Jarrah suggested.