IF ANYONE WERE TO look down upon this scene from an aerial view, they would likely remark that it’s a lovely and serene sight to behold.
A stunning penthouse suite at a gorgeous Mexican resort, the sheer white curtains floating in the breeze, the expanded balcony with a private hot tub and plunge pool all so alluring and beautiful. The magical backdrop of a pristine white beach and turquoise water, currently reflecting the full moonlight overhead, and the distant sound of the waves washing ashore.
From the outside, it appears to be an absolutely extraordinary slice of paradise on Earth.
But inside?
It’s a goddamn disaster.
“I… I… I’m a monster,” Cassie cries to herself, snot and tears dripping down her face as she rocks herself back and forth on one of the daybeds. She sniffs, not even bothering to wipe away the mascara staining her cheeks. “How could I do that to Adam? How can I ever live with myself again?” She balked. “How do I tell him? Oh, God.”
She covers her face and sobs even harder, and Skyler winces, rubbing her back and doing her best to comfort her Little as she falls apart.
Erin is pacing back and forth, arms folded hard over her chest as she shakes her head over and over, tossing between murmuring to herself and screaming curse words loud enough for the entire resort to hear. Something happened to her around the same time Cassie had her meltdown, about an hour ago amidst the thumping music of the beach club, but she has yet to tell us what, exactly.
All we know is she looked at her phone, screamed bloody murder, cried, and has been pacing ever since we all dragged Cassie back here to console her.
Ashlei disappeared into the bathroom as soon as we got back, and for how long she’s been in there, I can only imagine she’s ralphing up the fruity shots we’ve been knocking back all night.
And then there’s me, swiping back and forth between two pictures on my phone, each depicting a different man I love.
Swipe.
Me on Kade’s back, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, lips pressed to his cheek as my hair falls over us like a curtain. His warm brown eyes are bright with love and adoration, his smile megawatt in size as he snaps the selfie.
Swipe.
Me and Jarrett in bed, his beast of a body encompassing all of mine as I curl my back into his chest like a cat. The morning sunlight reflects on our soft, sated smiles, and his dark eyes smolder at the camera, promising he’s nowhere near finished with the girl in his arms.
Swipe.
Kade.
Swipe.
Jarrett.
Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.
Back and forth, over and over, I stare at those men — the men who own my heart — and feel it break at the realization that I will hurt one of them.
That I’ve already hurt them both.
I don’t deserve the patience they’ve given me — the space, the time. And I definitely don’t deserve their love.
But I have it, and though I love them both in return, I know there’s no putting off the decision I have to make.
The decision I made long before I was ready to admit it to myself, if I was being honest.
In my daze, I don’t realize Erin is screaming and Cassie is having a full-on panic attack until I snap out of the trance my phone has me in. I close the screen and drop it to the cushion beside me, popping up and running over to Erin first.
“It’s not fucking fair! This whole system… this whole world is fucked!” she screams.
“Will you bitches shut up?!” Ashlei yells from inside the bathroom. “It’s impossible for a girl to poop with all this racket going on!”
Skyler gives me a look that says she’s got Cassie, so I grab Erin’s hand and lead her to the edge of the balcony, letting the fresh sea breeze calm us both. I don’t say anything, just hold her there and smooth my hand over her arm, letting her take a moment for whatever it is that’s going on.
She opens her mouth to say something when my ringtone sounds from the chair I was sitting on, and Erin and I both look at the screen, stilling at the sight of Jarrett’s name in bold above the new message.
My chest caves in on itself, and I close my eyes for a long moment before I open them to find Erin staring back at me.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, her voice just a whisper.
Before I can answer, Ashlei clears her throat from where she’s now standing in the middle of the balcony between us all. Her hair is a mess tied loosely on top of her head, her arm still in a sling from the accident, and her face is ghostly pale.