Talking about my lack of relationships with depth has never bothered me before, but then things have changed recently. Especially with how much time Avery and I have been spending together, and how much I seem to like it. We’ve always hung out a lot, but there is a certain level of intimacy that I’m not used to. And I’m reluctant to admit it, but I’m not immune to the way all that forced contact and proximity affects me.
That I willingly give her massages on a nearly daily basis without expecting anything in return—like a penis massage—says a lot about where I’m at with Avery, and I’d prefer to keep my head in the sand.
“We have an emotional connection.” She points at me and goes back to eating the dinner she didn’t think she’d be able to finish.
“It’s not the same.” I’m not wrong. My friendship with Avery means far more to me than every single girlfriend I’ve ever had combined. The possibility of messing that up with my hormones practically makes me break out in hives.
“Maybe not, but just pointing out that you’re capable of them, is all.” She nudges a piece of paper on the coffee table with her toe. “Oh, I got a little carried away and finished the first twenty across words, so it’s your turn.” Her smile holds an apology.
I’m grateful for the change of topic. “You’ve got some catching up to do so you might as well double down while you can. I can’t tell you how much it’s sucked having all these half-started crossword puzzles hanging around.”
“You could’ve just done them, and don’t get too excited. It looks like a kindergartner filled it out, so if you can’t read something, ask me and I’ll try to decipher my own writing for you, but no promises.” Sharing the weekly crossword from the newspaper has been our thing since college.
“I have the ones you missed saved, and I only did the first ten down on them, so you can jump in on those when you’re ready.”
“You saved them?”
“Well, yeah. That’s our thing, right?”
She tips her head, a small smile pulling at the corner of her full lips. “Yeah, I guess it is. How frustrating was it for you to only be able to finish them partway and then have to stop and wait for me to be lucid enough to finish my part?”
I shrug. I ended up buying a crossword puzzle book and finished half of all the puzzles since Avery and I always share them. I do some of the down, she works on the across, and we usually stop after the first ten words, but with her out of commission, they’ve been sitting there, waiting for her.
I figure if her life is on hold, most of the things in mine should be too.
* * *
Since Avery moved back into her bedroom, having mastered the art of getting in and out of her bed with the assistance of a crutch, the living room is now back to its pre-accident state. The hospital bed has been returned, and most of the furniture has been moved to its original place, with a few modifications so there are more straight lines for her to travel.
As Avery’s injuries heal and she regains her mobility, her independence returns. At this point, she’s managing to get to and from the bathroom on her own. She would love to be rid of the wheelchair, but her muscles fatigue easily, and it’s a lot of work moving around a body with one arm and one leg out of commission.
It’s Wednesday morning and I’m not heading into the office until later, but I still get up at the usual time so I can fit in a short workout. I use the treadmill in the gym in the building and head back to our condo to finish off with mat exercises.
I’m in the middle of a set of crunches when I notice Avery standing at the end of the hallway, her phone in her hand, aimed at me. “What are you doing?”
“Entertaining my followers. I saved the last video in my highlights, and it has over six thousand views. I figured they could use another hit of your abs. Maybe you should do a few burpees, just for fun.”
“No one does burpees for fun, but I’ll do a few for the sake of your entertainment.” I roll to a sitting position and grab the towel at my side, swiping it over my face before I stand up and roll my head on my shoulders. “Ready for the gun show?” I waggle my brows and flex one of my biceps.
She shakes her head, but she’s smirking. “Stop stalling, McCormick, and show us what you got.”
I do a set of burpees, my sweatpants slipping lower and lower. I stop before I lose them and flash Avery. “How was that?”