She was light in the darkness. A white dove guiding me out of the shadows.
I couldn’t lose her.
I had nothing left.
“Yeah.” I paused to catch my breath, pulling back the Velcro on one glove. “I’m good.”
I picked up the water bottle, unscrewed the top, and put it to my mouth, drinking half the bottle in one go. The cool liquid passed over my dry yet grateful tongue.
A heavy clang shook throughout the space. I glanced over and saw Lev slide out from the weight bench before stalking over to us. His chest heaving, he said something I did not expect. Although, to be fair, you never really knew what to expect from Lev.
“Mina and I are trying for a baby.”
Sasha and I both stilled in surprise.
Lev worked on removing the strap from his elbow and went on. “I spoke with Pox about how long the process might take. He isn’t sure, being that Mina’s body has undergone the stress it has, but I find I’m becoming increasingly anxious about becoming a father again.”
Holy shit.
I blinked, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it. “I—”
But Sasha broke in, a deep frown marring his brow. “Are you sure you even want another child?” He crossed his arms over his chest and all but accused, “Was this Mina’s idea?”
Ah, hell. Here we go again.
Sasha had a hard time trusting people, and although Mina inherited more than enough money to support herself and was now married to Lev, I didn’t think he ever really saw past the homeless girl who stole his wallet when his back was turned.
Lev paused in thought, then replied, “She did bring it up, yes. After much talk about our circumstances, I agree that we’re rather fortunate to have the time and money to be able to afford another mouth to feed. With Mina no longer working at the club, photography allows her a freedom most women don’t have. Not to mention, the thought of Mina carrying my child gives me a warmth I don’t believe I’ve ever felt before.”
Whoa. This was huge.
I didn’t think I’d ever heard Lev talk about his feelings. Mouth agape, I twisted to look at Sasha, and while he basically glared at me, I made a face that exclaimed, Dude!
Meeting Mina changed him. I wasn’t sure what she’d done to the big guy, but whatever it was wasn’t bad.
A grin pulled at my lips. “That’s great, man. I’m really happy for you guys.”
Sasha’s glare decreased, but only by a small amount. His defensive pose loosened, and his arms fell to his sides as he asked a careful, “Why are you anxious?”
You could say a lot about Sasha Leokov, but he cared for his siblings. He cared for them equally, but both he and Nastasia had a special kind of patience for Lev. Without the two of them to protect and guide him, Lev would not have been the person he was today. They were his voice when he couldn’t speak, his reason when he fell to darkness. And they loved him unconditionally.
Lev removed the small towel from around his neck and dabbed at his sweaty face. “I suppose because the only experience I have with pregnancy is guarding the little life growing inside of Irina’s body while she threatened to terminate it at every turn.” He stilled, solemn. “It wasn’t what everyone told me it would be. I felt exposed and compromised. Irina was not the doting mother she should have been.”
If that ain’t the truth. Irina was a crank-ass, junkie bitch.
“Mina isn’t Irina, brother.” My brows pulled down at his frank admission. Lev told you how it was, no matter how dark or macabre. “You know Mina isn’t like that. Right? She couldn’t hurt a fly.”
Sasha spoke under his breath. “No. She’d just steal from it.”
I blinked at him in disbelief. What an ass. “Jesus. Would you let that go?” I threw an arm out to Lev. “Your brother’s askin’ for help here.”
Lev agreed passively, “I know Mina isn’t at all like Irina. But”—for a man who exuded confidence, he seemed awfully unsure—“it seems the experience left a mark.”
I looked over at Sasha. He looked right back at me. I shrugged lightly, expecting him to say something. His brow did that lazy, unbothered thing it always did when Sasha was in a foul mood. I mouthed, “Say something.” And the fucker rolled his eyes.
Oof. Sometimes, it was hard not to beat his ass.
But the moment I opened my mouth to offer words of encouragement, Sasha let out a deep sigh, reluctantly offering, “It’ll be different this time around.”
Lev peered at his brother, desperate for reassurance. “How so?”
“Well, firstly,” Sasha fought another eye roll but said, “Mina loves you.” There ya go. I could’ve kissed the asshole. “She isn’t obsessed with you like Irina was. So, when Mina thinks about her life and the choices she makes, she wonders of the outcomes and how they’ll affect you both. Unlike Irina, who acted brashly and without fear of consequence.”