Who was that version of Lev in Sasha’s office?
Certainly not the man I fell in love with.
I didn’t know that man, and it petrified me that our relationship may have been built on assumptions and lies. I asked myself if I knew Lev at all.
I would find out later that night.
We drove home in silence. Lev pulled my arm across the center console and held my hand, but my hold remained loose.
The drive felt longer than previous nights, where I would sing along to the radio, not even mildly caring about my tone deafness because I was too damn happy with my current life to give a damn. I had Lev, and that was all I needed.
But after tonight, I asked myself which Lev did I have? There were two of them, I had discovered.
I required an explanation.
The silence was heavy and growing thicker by the second.
We made our way upstairs, undressing, and for the first time in a week, I dressed in my yellow pajamas. Lev noticed. The distasteful look in his eye as he glanced at the hideous ensemble said so. I sat in the middle of the bed, my legs crossed.
Standing in front of the bed dressed in nothing more than his black boxers, he let out a soft sigh, unable to meet my eyes. “I understand you’re confused.”
My brow rose and I let out a soft grumble of agreement.
His hand came up and he scratched at his chin. “There are things you don’t know about me, Mina.”
I laughed humorlessly. “I can see that.”
“He owes Sasha money.”
My blood began to boil.
Lev went on, “This is how business is dealt with when you’re a Leokov.”
I swallowed hard, anger causing my stomach to dip.
“The man you saw tonight owes Sasha a hundred thousand dollars.”
That was it. I’d heard enough. As my mouth opened, anger spewed forth, and something I hadn’t planned on saying came out. “Who cares if the guy owes him money? He offered me the same amount to leave you, dammit!” I scowled. “Money is clearly of no object to Sasha.” I snarled his name.
The moment I realized what I had just told Lev, my face blanched.
Lev’s jaw steeled and his cheek ticked. His hands curled into fists and his stomach tightened. His voice was low, dangerous. “What did you say?”
No, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooo.
What had I just done? Blood roared in my ears and I heard my pulse loud and clear. My mouth dry, I attempted to bring some moisture to my lips by licking them. I pulled a pillow over my lap and hugged it tight. “I didn’t take it, obviously.” My voice was small. Tiny.
His eyes narrowed, and he spoke again through gritted teeth. “He what?”
Shit on a stick. Now you’ve done it!
The look on his face told me he was about to do something brash. So I did the only thing I could think of.
Standing as quick as I could, I took the two steps to the edge of the bed and threw myself off it in haste. Before Lev could think about what was happening, my body collided with his midair and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me up, almost too tightly. My arms went around his neck and my legs wrapped high around his waist. I squeezed him tight.
He was still mad. “Mina, let go of me. Please.”
“Never,” I whispered.
It must have been the right thing to say at the time, because his strong arms loosened around me, holding me lightly, and he turned his head to rest his lips at my temple, one hand moving down slowly to cup my left ass cheek.
I couldn’t believe what I was about to say. “Your brother loves you, Lev. He might have a shitty way of showing it, but he does. Otherwise, he wouldn’t bother to do what he did.” I paused before adding on a squeeze, “I would kill to have a family that loves me. Don’t be angry with him, sweetie. He’s just looking out for you.”
That soothed the raging beast. He carried me over to the bed and, without extracting me from him, lay down on his back, taking me down with him. He looked up at the high ceiling and breathed in deep, uttering on an exhale, “I’m sorry about what you saw.”
Resting my chin on his chest, I spoke quietly, “Are you happy doing things like that?”
He thought about it a moment, his voice austere when he replied, “I don’t feel when I do things like that.”
It was such a sad answer that my heart ached for him. Turning my head to the side, I whispered, “You scared me tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
So many apologies from this man. I wondered if he was sorry, or if it was just something to say to fill the void.
I lifted my face once more to search his face and pondered out loud, “Do you think you’d have told me if I didn’t find out the way I did?”