No, my issue was vulnerability. Hazel had shown repeatedly how adept she was at tracking me down, and how determined she was to continue knocking me on my ass just when I stood tall. But after the last judge had told her to get help and the therapy or go to prison, I felt like it was time to get control over myself again.
So, having another friend to say hi to, maybe even talk about art with, was a good thing.
“You’re lying.”
Maddie’s reply confused me. “Sorry?”
“You don’t want to be his friend any more than I have secret desires to wear size sixteen shoes.”
I only just bit back the laugh that wanted to pop out of me at the mental image of how that’d look on her. Maddie was all of five feet tall, so having size sixteen feet would be hilarious on her.
“Sienna, you need to understand something huge here. You gave a hot guy—who’s hotter than he was in high school, which was on the smoking scale of hotness—your number. You also want to work on letting him into your home. That’s freaking huge.”
She was right. It was a big move for me.
“Okay, honey, I’ll concede that it’s huge.”
“Good,” she murmured back. “And if you’re lucky, maybe something else of his will be huge. A big old donkey sized—”
“Maddison Shepherd,” I growled dramatically, biting back laughter again.
“What? I was talking about his bike.”
“Sure you were. Just so you know, I saw his bike, and unless it was the shadows from the light, yes, it’s big.” Not giving her a chance to say anything, I added, “Bye,” and hung up, finally giving in to the laughter.
Almost immediately, my phone beeped with a text.
Maddison: You suck, which is probably a good thing for Mr. Quinn ;-)
I would have replied to her, but I also had one from an unknown number.
Unknown: What are the chances I could persuade you to let me see the large bowl on your website in person? It’d look awesome in the studio. JQ
He’d texted me already. Holy shingle splitter!
With a shaky hand, I opened Maddie’s message and typed out a reply.
Me: He sent me a message while we were on the phone. He wants to know if I’ll show him that large bowl I listed last week. In person!
She knew the one I was talking about, seeing as how she’d had to help me carry it outside, where I took the photos for aesthetic purposes. My website displayed them with the field behind my house as the backdrop, the rustic white fence between it and my yard adding that extra something to them. Usually, I placed them on an old wooden picnic table out there, but this one had been on top of a tree stump, and it’d looked amazing.
I watched the bubbles dance on the screen as she replied, stopping periodically and then starting back up again. It was torture waiting for her to hit send, but when it finally came through, it wasn’t helpful.
Maddie: And you said?
Me: All that time and you send three words? You were typing for minutes. What do I say back to him?
This time, her reply was prompt.
Maddie: I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
Me: How is that helpful?
This time her reply made me more nervous but also made me burst out laughing. I swear this was the most I’d laughed in years, and it felt fabulous.
Maddie: It’ll get you laid, which will make you feel like I was the most helpful person in the world.
So, with a smile on my face, I made a plan to focus on going through the mental preparation I’d need for him to come here while I typed out a message back to him. It wasn’t the wittiest one—and if Maddie had been here, I probably would have asked her to add to it—but it was something at least.
Me: Now that I’ve seen the studio, I think it’d definitely look great there. Can you give me a couple of days to do my ‘thing’ and finish off some other projects first?
It wasn’t a lie. I had four commissioned projects that needed to be finished off and then packed up in their crates. And I had three others that I was almost done with and wanted to get them listed. They were ‘unusually’ shaped vases and bowls that I’d been dying to do one day, and if I didn’t list them, they’d likely end up in “the room,” i.e., the spare room that housed all of the other pieces I was too scared to list.
One of them was a bowl shaped like a woman’s torso, and I loved it, but sometimes the comments I got on them from trolls were harsh, so I stuck to putting the ones I knew I’d get less of those on up for sale. I was feeling more daring with these ones, though, and needed to put them up before I talked myself out of it.