Fuck.
I need to focus on my woman, on our date, before I let the carnal pieces of me tear through my civility like shrapnel.
“I’ve always had this dream. It’s silly really.”
“Why’s it silly?” I snap, my voice grim. “I don’t like it when you devalue yourself, Callie, when you make light of your dreams and hopes. You don’t have to do that, not anymore, not with me. You can do any fucking thing you want, anything. I’ll always support you. Part of you being mine means being with you as you make your mark on the world.
She whimpers, nodding. “I know, I know. It’s just… I’ve never been able to properly think about it before.”
She pauses for a moment, both of us taking bites of our food, as the soft jazz laces the air and a waiter passes us by.
“I’ve always wanted to offer an interior design service to underprivileged families and businesses. I had this idea of going into the poorer neighborhoods and redesigning their houses for free, their shops, their salons, whatever. I’d provide all the materials. They wouldn’t have to pay a penny.”
“That sounds incredible.”
My heart warms, as the true selflessness of my woman shines through.
Of course, she’d want to do something like this, because my woman is incapable of thinking only of herself.
“So what’s the problem?” I ask.
“Well, before I met you, I had no way of making that a reality. I needed to earn money – not give it away.”
I nod. “But you’ve got my support now. First, we need to get you back in college. And then, once you graduate, you can start your charity. I support you completely.”
She reaches across the table, her hand passing the vase and the rose, and curls around mine. “Thank you, Conrad. That means so much to me.”
I rub my thumb over her knuckles, feeling how warm she is, how full of life.
“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “You’re going to pay me back. Do you think you can fit a couple of pregnancies in between your charity work, eh?”
She squeezes my hand even harder, letting out a breath. “Just a couple?”
I laugh, an airy and bright sound, the sort I haven’t felt tremble in my chest since I was a little kid, since before my mother’s botched surgery and dad’s depression. “How many are you thinking, angel?”
“Maybe around four, or maybe even five. Or is that too many?
“That sounds perfect,” I growl. “I can’t wait to put them inside of you. I can’t wait to start our future together.”
A look comes into her eyes and is gone before I can read it. A flash of nerves?
“Is this too crazy, Conrad, sitting here talking about how many children we’re going to have when we only met a few days ago?”
“I don’t give a damn if it’s crazy,” I tell her firmly. “It feels right. It is right. You crashed that car into mine for a reason, and not just because my perfect angel wasn’t paying attention.”
She giggles when I tease her. “I know, I know. I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“It’s something to tell the grandkids about.” I grin. “I’ve always wanted to use that phrase. But I never would have, not with anyone except for you. Fuck. I need you, Callie. I need you bad.”
A gorgeous vivid blush blooms across her cheeks and down her neck, disappearing behind the gold edging of her dress, making me think of her curvy and luscious breasts turning the same color.
“I was so nervous about it before,” she murmurs. “About disappointing you. But now, I don’t know, it’s sort of like… we’re in this together, aren’t we?”
She’s talking about my virginity, and I nod. “Yes, Callie, we are. But even if I’d been with a hundred people before you, a thousand – which I would rather die than do, because you’re the only woman for me, forever – but even if I had, you could never disappoint me.”
“Still.” Her smile shimmers widely, an answering note whelming inside of me. “It makes me feel a tiny bit more ready.”
“Ready, as in tonight, that sort of ready?” I snarl, my heartbeat slamming aggressively against my chest, a drumming that threatens to erupt. “Is that what you’re talking about, Callie?”
She meets my eye, fear shivering, emerging, retreating, as she fights an inner battle only I can see. “Yes, I want to… but please don’t be—”
“Don’t you fucking dare say disappointed,” I interrupt gruffly. “I’ve already told you that you could never do that.”
I let go of her hand and cut into my steak, moving quickly.
She giggles. “What the heck are you doing?”
“What does it look like?” I reply, a teasing note in my voice. “Wolfing this down as quickly as I can so I can get you home.”
She laughs again, the most beautiful sound, the most welcome sound, filling me with an emotion I never dared to hope I’d feel.