Chapter One
Conrad
“It’s midnight over there, old man. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” I chuckle as I guide my sleek BMW through the city’s traffic, glancing at the clock to make sure I’ve got plenty of time to make it to the hospital.
Five PM here, so midnight in Madrid, where dad moved almost the second I turned eighteen. I can’t blame him for wanting to get away from the States, not after what happened with mom, not after the pain he endured.
“Old man?” Dad says, laughing deeply. The quality of the speakerphone is so crisp it’s like he’s in the car with me. “I’ll have you know seventy is the new fifty, and fifty is the new thirty, and thirty is the new eighteen, so really I’m younger than you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I roll my eyes, coming to a stop at a red light. The sun is gleaming over the city, a late-day yellow that glistens across the skyscrapers than tower all around me. It’s always a pain getting to the hospital at this time of the day, but it’s not like I’m going to say no. Being a surgeon means being ready to help people, always.
But still, some of these drivers make me want to throw my door open and drag them from their goddamn cars. Somehow I resist the urge to slam my fist down on the horn. Tommy, my best pal, tells me I rage so hard on the road because I can’t let myself do it in the operating room.
“All I’m saying is,” Dad goes on. “It’d be nice to have a reason to visit. And don’t think I’m going to fly all the way across the pond for you, Conrad.”
I laugh again, shaking my head at my dad’s vicious sense of humor. The truth is I’ve visited him at least once a year for the past two decades, but he hates coming back. He says it reminds him of all that went down with mom, all the pain.
Again, I can’t blame him.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit hypocritical, eh, telling me to settle down when you spend your nights trying it on with half of Madrid?”
Another laugh, but this one’s darker, as though he thinks I’m making some sly dig about mom when I’d rather die than do that. “It’s different, Conrad. You know it is.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I get that. But I haven’t found the right girl.”
“What is the right girl? You’re a goddamn millionaire. Get yourself some billboard model and have yourself a whale of a time.”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel at his words.
It’s true. I’ve worked my ass off to become one of the most respected surgeons in the country, and I made wise real estate investments in my twenties to add to my income. I don’t want for anything…
But do I really want to buy a wife?
And there’s the fact that most women – hell, all women – do nothing for me. I look at them and feel empty inside like there’s a hole within my chest.
I don’t feel it, whatever the fuck it is.
I’ve tried explaining this to dad and Tommy before, but they just look at me like I’m crazy.
“What are you waiting for?” Dad goes on, as the lights change and I turn away from the intersection, taking a quieter street, gaining a little speed now.
“I’m not waiting for anything. I’m happy.”
Dad snorts. “You think I don’t know when you’re lying to me, Conrad?”
“What? I’ve got a successful career, a few friends. I work out and I can buy whatever I want, whenever I want. Who could ask for more?”
Dan snorts again. “Conrad, don’t talk to me like I don’t know you. I know for a fact you don’t view your money like that. You’re not some big impulse buyer. Hell, that BMW is the first new car you’ve bought in half a decade. You don’t even act like a millionaire.”
I nod along with his words because he’s right. I’ve got a high-rise apartment, modern and sleek. I’ve got a nice car. But otherwise, I don’t ever feel the need to splurge my money like other people do.
“I’ll know her when I see her. If I see her.”
“This mystery woman,” Dad says. I just know he’s rolling his eyes right now. “You know she doesn’t exist, don’t you, Conrad? She never existed. You think you’re going to – what – look at a woman one day and… And what? I don’t get it.”
“How many times are we going to talk about this?” I snap. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t have a goddamn clue. All I know for sure is I’ve never felt like I needed to settle down with anyone. I’ve never even come close. So until I feel it, I’m not going to jump into something.”
“And what if you never do?” Dad says, his voice growing softer now, probably in response to the rage in my tone.