Only I needed power. Otherwise, he’d consume me, take everything and leave me bare.
This was my way to claim some small amount of strength for myself.
“All right.” I heard the intense hatred and sorrow. “I’ll accept your conditions, but I think you’re making a mistake.”
My stomach twisted into knots.
Some insane part of me hoped he’d refuse. Maybe we’d fight, maybe not.
But I never dreamed he’d simply give me what I wanted.
“Then I’ll marry you.”
“If I had a ring, I’d propose.”
“You should work on that.”
“I should.” His eyes glittered, but I saw the deep wells of sadness there.
No children. Not with me at least.
It hurt him deeply. And some part of me felt ripped to pieces as well.
Could I really make him do that? Could I give up on a family for myself?
I didn’t know, but I had to make him think I would.
I set my jaw and pushed back from the table.
“Tell Penny I’m ready whenever she is.”
“I’ll have her fetch you from your room.”
I walked to the door. I hated myself for what I just did to him.
And yet he fucking deserved it.
I looked back. His eyes drilled into me like lightning.
I tore myself away and nearly ran.
There was no dignity left, not for me. I’d stripped myself bare in front of Darren and showed him my heart.
He took it and feasted.
Now I was trying to crawl back from the dead, to find some tiny piece of what I’d lost.
I could be that man’s wife. I could even enjoy it.
But if I didn’t keep something away from him, I’d never be free.
And I could live like that, even with that gorgeous prince, that beast, that killer.
19
Penny
Winter looked so incredibly depressed as we stepped into the boutique dress shop that I almost told her we could turn around and leave.
Except we really couldn’t. She needed a dress, and besides, I doubted I’d ever get married so this might be my only chance.
“Ladies.” An older blonde woman stepped out from behind the desk. “You must be Penny and Winter. Welcome to my little store. My name’s Miss Aubrey and I’ll be your assistant today.” She beamed and had the ageless look of a woman with a good surgeon.
She reminded me of my mother.
I slipped my hand through Winter’s arm and tugged her along as we stepped into the back room. It was large, with a long rack of dresses along one wall, a sitting area in the center, and a stage with multiple mirrors around it at the other side. Miss Aubrey poured champagne and stepped toward the dresses.
“Which shall we try today?”
I bit my lip and looked at Winter.
She stared at the clothes like she’d never seen them before in her life.
I tried not to sigh.
Darren was making both the best decision of his life and the biggest mistake. Winter was a great girl—I genuinely liked her, even though I’d only known her for a short time—and because of that, he shouldn’t force her into anything.
And yet I knew how this life worked.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t agree with it.
Heck, sometimes, I really freaking hated it.
But that was how it went. Darren was an Oligarch, and for better or for worse, he did what he had to do.
“How about we find something together?” I offered, nudging Winter slightly.
She nodded once. She was so pretty: big, wide eyes, pouty lips, thick hair. I knew why my brother liked her.
I led her to the rack and we started browsing. I picked out a few pieces, not bothering to look at labels or prices. A few mermaid dresses with different necklines, a few gowns, several A-lines, even a few separates (although I seriously doubted my mother would ever allow that). Winter chose two dresses: a conservative sheath, and a very pretty lacy dress with a deep neckline and understates sequins.
Miss Aubrey squealed and cooed at every choice and set them aside on a smaller rack. When we had six dresses, Winter was hustled up onto the stage, and Miss Aubrey practically started to undress her.
Winter slapped the woman’s hands away. “I can do this, thanks.”
Miss Aubrey looked outraged. I suppressed a smile. She probably wasn’t used to girls with a little spine.
“We can take it from here, thank you, Miss Aubrey.” I smiled sweetly at her like a good, well-bred girl. “She’s just a little nervous.”
Miss Aubrey nodded and quickly hid her annoyance. “Of course. Call if you need anything.” She fled into the other room.
Winter looked at herself in the mirror. I stepped up onto the stage next to her and leaned on her shoulder.
“You know the cliché about girls and their weddings?” she asked, frowning at herself.
“Sure, how we all dream about our wedding day?”
“I never got that. I always thought weddings were creepy. I’m supposed to dress up in white and pretend to be all perfect and virginal? And all that attention? No thank you.”