My head fell back on the wall and I tried to steady myself. But I knew I wasn’t steady. I was off balance and off center. My body wasn’t mine when Sam was around. I tried to straighten my jacket and rearrange my pants.
A few minutes later, the conference room door opened. “Come on.”
“Wait.” I stopped him.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I don’t think we can do this.” I didn’t want to tell him, but I had enough time to regulate my heart rate.
“Of course we can. And we are.”
“I’ll get fired if anyone finds out that I was with you,” I tried to explain.
I was also starting to feel guilt. I had promised Heather she could count on me to be a quality Goddess and sleeping with Sam broke that promise. She was upstairs expecting a romcom marathon, and I was in a dark ballroom hooking up with the enemy.
He wrapped an arm around my waist and I felt my resolve slip too quickly.
“So don’t tell anyone.”
I pressed against his chest and felt the solid muscle under his T-shirt. Holy shit. I had forgotten how ripped he was.
“It’s not that easy. I have a roommate who thinks I’m downstairs picking something up. She’s waiting for me to order in and watch movies all night. I can’t go with you. I just can’t.”
He pulled the hair from my face. “Do you know I tried to find you after the last game?”
“You did?”
He nodded. “I ran from one end of that stadium to the other looking for you. I tried every door, every damn tunnel. And I couldn’t find you.”
“You tried to find me even though we agreed? You weren’t supposed to do that.”
“I did it anyway. And then I ran into Floyd and had to get back to the bus. But I was as surprised as you were that we were… who we are,” he finished.
“I’m not a Goddess, really. I mean I am, but it’s not my career and I didn’t want you to know.” I hung my head. “It’s not who I am.”
“Who do you want me to know?” His voice was low and deep.
“The ballerina I used to be,” I answered. I almost had tears in my eyes. I was glad it was dark and he couldn’t see me. “The girl who danced on water. The prima ballerina who had confidence and grace.”
“And you don’t think I see all those things?”
“I don’t know what you see. I don’t want you to look at me like I’m one of the Goddess dancers. That I know.”
He lifted my chin with his finger. “I don’t care what you do. It doesn’t matter to me if you dance for the Goddesses or an orchestra. I’m here tonight, you’re here tonight, and I have a room for us.” He held up the key card. “Let’s use it.”
“And get fired?” I tried to wiggle free, but he was strong. “I don’t plan on having this job much longer, but right now, it’s all I have. I can’t get fired, Sam. You are off limits. I can’t be with you.”
“But you just said you don’t want to be a Goddess. I’m fucking confused.”
I sighed. “I’m going back to the ballet. I am. But auditions aren’t until March. I have to stay with the Goddesses until then. And as long as I’m on the Warriors’ dance roster I cannot under any circumstances be seen with a Wrangler. I gave them my word. It breaks the Goddesses’ code.” I folded my arms, thinking I had made my point.
“And I can’t let you out of San Antonio without another night together, so we better figure this out right now.”
He let go of me and pulled out a chair at one of the tables. It was set for an accountants’ meeting in the morning.
“Sit,” he ordered.
I took a seat as he sat across from me.