I heard a branch crack in the distance. It was a sharp splintering sound in the quiet woods.
I didn’t have the fucking guts to tell her. I’d never been a coward, but right now I was. Nothing meant more to me than her and my children. Maybe North Carolina was where she needed to be. I could guarantee she’d never be alone. She’d always have support.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I just know you love being home with your family. Now that Aiden has bought out my half of the Dunes, we have options. I have millions, Kaitlyn. Yo
u aren’t stuck in Padre.”
“I’ve never been stuck in Padre.” Her eyes flared. “You and I are home now. I don’t need to live here anymore.”
It was cold as shit out here in the snow. Our cheeks were red and Kaitlyn’s eyes glittered under the white crystals. Her nose was rosey, but something in my chest cracked. I was being torn in half. I was damned no matter what decision I made.
My mouth descended on hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck reaching on her toes to bring our bodies closer. She started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I brushed the snow from her face.
“We are in twenty layers of sweaters and coats.” She tugged at my scarf. “We might as well be in sumo suits.”
“True.” I chuckled.
Letting her go felt as if I had made my decision. And somehow I had to tell her. But not now. Not when she was this happy. Not when Grayson was begging to go to the park.
I tugged on the sled. “Come on, let’s keep this sleigh ride going.”
10
Kaitlyn
I recognized a lot of the kids I used to babysit performing in the church pageant. Mary was played by the little girl who lived at the end of the street, and her doting Joseph used to throw spaghetti at me whenever I fixed him dinner.
The annual Christmas pageant was a part of our holiday traditions. It started the first year I was cast as a sheep, then moved up in the ranks to be a shepherd, and eventually the angel. In high school, I phased out of being a part of the play, but by then we were so used to going, it was just something we did. Tonight, Cole and Grayson got to see what it was all about.
Cole, my parents, and I sat in the middle of the church. The cast parents filled the first five rows. Cole and I had never been to church together, other than attending Sasha’s wedding, and I didn’t think that counted. His hand felt warm in my hand and he gave me an extra squeeze when the chorus started singing Silent Night.
I kept Grayson entertained with juice boxes and animal crackers throughout the show. After forty-five minutes, we stood to applaud the performance while the mini actors and actresses bowed. The baby Jesus started screaming and the audience laughed. I saw his mother race to the side of the stage with a bottle, while the shepherds’ crooks became entangled.
“Fun show.” Cole chuckled as we stood to file out of our pew.
“Did you like it?” I wasn’t sure how he would take a bunch of amateur child actors shouting lines, and knocking over half the props.
“Kids are cute.” He smiled as he slid his fingers through mine.
My mom stopped us in the lobby. “I’m going to check in with the cookie drive committee. I’ll meet you all at the car.” She dashed off toward the church social center.
My father turned to face us. “Why don’t I heat up the car and meet you out front?”
“Need any help?” Cole moved in front of me.
“Well, if you want to help me scrape off the snow, that would be great.”
The snow had started up again and the parking lot was coated in powder. It would probably take a while to clean the windshield. I was glad my dad was the one who was driving. I hated trying to navigate the roads in the snow, even if we were only five minutes from the house.
“No problem. See you in a minute.” Cole squeezed my hand before ducking out with my dad.
I watched the two of them pull their collars up and dip their heads as the snow drifted around them. It looked like they were laughing about something.
“I’m going to walk Grayson over to the cookie tray,” Mom offered.
“Ok.”