What was this chick doing to me?
32
Julie
“Everyone, ready?” Hawk asked, entering the living room.
I could tell Hunter felt out of place, and I wished there was something I could do to help him feel more at home. But the sad fact was that it was going to take all of us time to adjust. This was a huge change for everyone.
I hadn’t processed what this meant for my relationship with Hunter. And I hadn’t even let myself realize what this meant for Hawk and me. We were in this thing together. Co-parenting? Dating? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Yeah I’m starving, how about you, Hunter?” I asked. Hawk and I decided we should get some lunch while we were out shopping.
“Kinda,” he answered, glancing down at the ground.
“Come on,” Hawk prodded. “We’ll get some food and your choice of clothes. I’m driving.” He snatched the keys from the table near the front door.
My heart felt as if it could literally cry right this moment. Every single time I doubted this man and his ability to care for this beautiful little boy he proved me wrong. I glanced back at Hunter and watched as hope lit his eyes. I wondered how long it has been since someone has taken him shopping.
How long had it been since someone bought him a pair of shoes and didn’t just pass along someone else’s hand me downs?
How long since he had underwear and socks that fit his body?
Hunter and I followed Hawk to the elevator and down to the parking garage where his car was parked. I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the things that had happened in the past few weeks. How I had gone from not having any hope to having so much hope it was overwhelming. And yet, I was nervous.
Hawk shuttled us both inside the car.
I was nervous that he wouldn’t get custody. Nervous this was only a dream. Nervous he’d break my heart. That this wasn’t the real man—it was only a temporary fix for the playboy I had met.
I wasn’t a pessimistic person—far from it, but teaching kids who came from nothing, who had nothing, shone a spotlight on the injustice and pain in this world. It was hard to ignore that some of that pain had rooted itself in my heart.
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“And ice cream? What about that?” he called to Hunter in the backseat.
“I love ice cream.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped at them furiously, not wanting the man in the driver’s seat to see the effect his simple gesture had on me, but he noticed and in the act of a true gentleman he reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a hankie, passing it to me to wipe my eyes.
“Thank you,” I said. We both knew I didn’t just mean for the handkerchief.
“Of course.” He replied.
After today, my heart and my head were going to have to have a serious talk. Everything this man was and everything he did had me so twisted in knots I didn’t know if I was coming or going. One minute I wanted to murder him and the next I want to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest.
Hawk kept a baseball hat pressed around the frame of his face. It was comical if he thought that was some kind of disguise. The man was huge and anyone within five feet of him would immediately recognize him—especially women.
It didn’t help that every five minutes there was a story about the Sharks on the news. The city was taking the playoffs bid to epic proportions. His fame and popularity was out of control.
The mall was decorated with Christmas trees and hanging snowflakes in every corner. Hawk trudged forward to one of the shoe stores. I rolled my eyes when I saw it was all athletic shoes. I would have gone with shirts and pants first, but I wasn’t the one leading the shopping expedition.
He pointed to a wall of shoes. “Pick any that you want. You can buy all of them if you want.” He grinned widely.
I tugged on his arm, pulling him away from an awestruck Hunter.
“What’s wrong?”
I spoke softly. “Balance. He needs some balance. He can’t go from having nothing to having everything.”