“You know, big wedding, big party, a hundred people at the rehearsal dinner. Is that your thing? Is that something you want?”
My heart started beating faster than usual, and my palms got clammy. “I uh—I haven’t really thought about it I guess.” I gulped half of the gingerale. “What do you think about it?”
“I don’t think I want all the fuss.” He took a sip of his drink. I still couldn’t believe we were talking about this. “Something small and simple would be good. Not too many people.”
I nodded. “Yes. Small and simple.”
“But a white dress. I think that’s important.”
I stared at him. Was he picturing me in a white dress? Imagining what I would look like next to him exchanging vows? I started to get woozy. This was a lot to take in. Breathe, Kaitlyn, breathe.
An image of Cole standing on the beach in a button-down white shirt, standing near a minister popped in my head. I couldn’t shake it. The image started getting cloudy as if I was backing away from the scene.
A new wave of guilt hit me. Was he saying this because of the baby? I tried to study him.
Sasha’s father clanked his glass a few times and announced dinner was being served. I jumped slightly forward on my toes.
Cole gripped my free hand and led me to the dining room. I needed him to steady me now more than ever.
Sasha and Cal rushed to greet us. “There you are! I was worried you weren’t here.”
I squeezed her tightly. “Of course we’re here.”
I tried to read the state of her nerves tonight, but it looked like she had a glass of wine and Cal was by her side. He was taking care of her.
The guys shook hands. “Thanks for taking me out last night, man.” Cal slapped Cole on the back. “I appreciated you and Lance throwing that together.”
“Every man needs a bachelor party.” Cole smiled.
“Wait a minute, were there strippers?” Sasha teased.
“Friends don’t divulge what happens at bachelor parties.” Cole looked completely serious. I knew there weren’t any strippers. They spent most of the night at Peabody’s drinking beer and playing pool. Cal might have sung a little karaoke on stage, but Cole assured me that’s as wild as they got.
Sasha poked Cole in the ribs. “At least I know Cal has good friends.” She reached for her fiancé’s hand. “Come on, babe. They’re waiting on us to sit down. I’ll talk to you after dinner, Kaitlyn.”
I watched as they crossed the room and sat at the head table with their parents. They looked happy. They looked calm. They looked like they were in love.
I threw a handful of paper towels in the trash and straightened my dress in the mirror. I had excused myself from dinner to visit the ladies room, but Cole was probably wondering where I was by now. I couldn’t stay holed up in here all night while I debated our earlier conversation.
I looked at my hair, the sun on my nose, the curves of my hips. I picked a spot of fuzz from my dress and adjusted the strap on my heel. Twenty-three-year-olds do not talk marriage. Do they? I tried to focus on my appearance and not the feelings and thoughts trapped in my head. Cole was probably just observing the situation, getting my feedback on things. He wasn’t asking what kind of wedding I thought we should have. Was he? I washed my hands again with cool water, hoping the clamminess would stop.
He and Amber had Grayson without marriage. I didn’t want this baby to be a traip. I didn’t want to suffocate him.
I touched up my nose with a dab of powder from my clutch.
After he and Amber broke up and he moved out, he didn’t date anyone until me. Ryan made sure I knew he slept around. I inhaled again and pulled on the handle of the bathroom door. I had to get things together and get through the rest of the dinner. There were still toasts, dessert, and then dancing on the deck afterward.
I pasted a smile on my face and walked back to our table.
Dinner lasted longer than I expected, and then we headed to the after party at Sasha’s parents’ house. I guessed this is what Cole meant about keeping things simple. It felt as if we had only participated in wedding events all week. That is, except for the couch christening.
The ocean was rough tonight. I couldn’t see it from the balcony, but I could hear it.
There was a jazz band set up inside the living room, but I only heard them play when someone opened one of the beachside doors.
Lance walked up behind me. “I checked the forecast for tomorrow. It’s supposed to be sunny and hot. You girls don’t have to worry about your dresses.”
“Thanks. I haven’t had a chance to look at my phone today for the forecast.” I turned back toward the waves in the distance. Cole was getting us both drinks, but I was sure he had been cornered by one of the many parents at the event. They loved to ask him about the Dunes.