“There isn’t an us.” I turn away from her, the monster I created.
She digs her nails into my jaw and pulls me to face her. I let her. Knocking her on her ass would be easy and satisfying. But she’s clearly put some effort into her theatrics this time. May as well let her get it out of her system.
“Is it because of her?”
“Her who?”
“Your new slut?” She grips harder. “Delilah?”
“Leave her out of this.”
She lets go and pulls her habit off, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders, reminding me of the stupid kids we used to be. They are dead and gone.
“It can be good again, you know?” She leans forward and whispers in my ear.
I grab the arms of the chair to keep myself from shoving her off and cracking her skull on the table until she stops moving. It would be so easy to break her neck. A slender, delicate thing, requiring less force than I’d ever needed before. The final snap would play like a blissful amen at the end of an aria from hell.
She lowers her lashes. “I can be your baby girl.”
My hand is at her throat before I can stop it. I squeeze. Hard. It feels good. When her eyes widen, and she claws at my hands, I enjoy the acrid scent of fear that colors the air around her. I want her dead. If she didn’t know it before. She knows it now.
“Keep your fucking claws to yourself.” I shove her away from me. She pinballs off the office chair to my right and lands on the floor, her chest heaving as she drags air into her lungs.
When she looks up at me, hatred burning in her eyes, I want to spit on her. “Did you think we could just pretend nothing happened. That she never happened?”
She flinches. “That was so long ago, and—”
“Shut the fuck up.” I snap my fingers. “Give me whatever shit you had planned for the solstice, and I’ll take it from here.”
“We’re supposed to work together.” She pulls herself up and straightens her dress. “That’s what the Prophet wants.”
“And we always do what he says, don’t we?” I snarl.
Her ire drains away and tears shine in her eyes. “Adam, please. If the Prophet finds out I didn’t do what he wants on this…” She takes a deep breath. “Please, let me work with you. I won’t try anything else. I swear. Just business, okay?”
I wrestle with my annoyance, but I give her a short nod. “Fine. Show me the plans.”
Chapter 19
Delilah
I know the sound of his footsteps. When he enters my room, I’m on my knees, my dress laid across the foot of my bed.
He drops a paper bag next to the door, then strides over and sits in front of me. His scent wafts to me, some sort of soap mixed with the outdoors. I forget that I haven’t truly been outside in almost a week. Other than the short trips around the campus in the white bus, we don’t spend any time outside the Cloister.
“What are you thinking?” His voice is silky.
I meet his eyes, already acting like his trained dog. “About how it would be nice to go outside.”
“Why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It sort of gets claustrophobic in here, I guess.”
“If the Prophet let you roam around outside the Cloister, the wolves might get you. All the men who want to hurt you, the fallen world that wants to corrupt you.” Sarcasm twists each word into a different shape. “You’re ever so much safer in here. With me.”
He reaches out and strokes his fingers through my hair. Leaning forward a bit, his gaze strays lower—to the injury I’m trying to hide.
“What’s that?”
I pull my hand between my thighs. “Nothing.”
He grabs my chin and yanks my gaze to his. “What did we agree about trust, little lamb?”
Shit.
“Show me.” His eyes narrow as I lift my hand. “Broken finger.” He runs his hand along my shoulder, pushing the hair away. “And someone hit you. Hard. Who?”
“I had an accident—”
He tsks, his dark eyes sparkling like obsidian. “Trust, little lamb. If you lie to me, that trust is broken. And once it’s broken—” He lunges forward and yanks me up.
I squeak as he throws me on the bed and crawls on top of me, his hands gripping my still-sore wrists and pinning me beneath him.
“As I was saying, little lamb, if you break that trust, your body is mine. And I’ll do everything I want to it. To you. It would be a pity for you to misinterpret what’s going on here.” He squeezes my wrists harder, bringing back the singe of pain from that day on the X. “I have ultimate control over you. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me. But—” He drops his lips to my ear “—I’ve given you a chance to keep me at bay. If you lie…”