She took a deep, calming breath.
“I hope you mean to tell me what this is all about,” Alice said, plopping down onto the straw-filled mattress. “My uncle is from home or I would not have been able to come. Your servant was very mysterious, Lily.”
Lily sat by Alice’s side. The girl’s color was still high, and now her blue eyes shone with curiosity.
“I am going to ask something of you,” Lily began. “I will be honest. It may be dangerous and you may feel the might of Radulf’s anger, and believe me, he can be very angry indeed. But mostly, if I am discovered, he will be angry with me. In fact he will probably forget about you altogether, Alice.”
r /> Alice’s blue eyes had grown bigger and she leaned forward in breathless silence.
“I want to take your place when you leave the inn. I will become Alice of Rennoc and you will stay here in my bedchamber and pretend you are me. I’ve thought about it, and if you pretend to be unwell, then no one will interfere with you.”
“Oh, Lily, do you mean to escape?” Alice cried out in dismay.
Startled, Lily pressed her fingers to her friend’s lips and looked nervously to the door. In truth, escape had not entered her head. All she had thought of was Radulf and Lady Anna. Now that Alice had brought the subject up, she dismissed it. Where would she go? Who would hide her? And if she did run, what would become of her people?
Besides, how could she leave Radulf when all she wanted to do was stay?
“No, I don’t mean to escape,” Lily said, when it was clear no one had heard Alice’s voice in the other room. “I need to follow Lord Radulf, and it has nothing to do with politics, Alice. It is a personal matter. He is going to meet someone and I wish to follow him and…and watch him.”
Alice twitched her skirts. “I see,” she said, and from the tone of her voice Lily sensed that she did. After a moment Alice covered her hand, squeezing it comfortingly.
“Radulf is a great lord, Lily. Great lords do not have to cleave to one woman. Even I know that, and I am still a maid. There is no place for jealousy in the lives of such as Radulf.”
Lily’s back stiffened. “I am not jealous,” she retorted sharply. “I merely want to see the woman for myself, and read their feelings for each other by their actions. A wife needs to know these things if she is to survive in marriage, particularly if she is an English woman married to a Norman lord.”
Alice’s eyes softened with sympathy. “What you say is all very sensible, Lily, but when I met Lord Radulf at the castle he seemed more than fond of you. Why should he want another woman?”
Lily stared and then gave a high laugh. “Ah no, Alice, you are wrong. Radulf is a passionate and earthy man, and what you saw between us was but his lust. But you are a maid still and I will say no more.”
Alice flushed and shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe I am ignorant, but it seemed he had an affection for you.”
Lily dismissed her friend’s comment as innocence and maybe wishful thinking. She rose to her feet and began to pace up and down the narrow room. Her heart was thudding anxiously inside her and she could no longer keep still. “I do not say these things lightly or to upset you, Alice. Please, will you help me?”
Alice hesitated and then gave an impish smile. “Yes, I will. But if Radulf finds out, have no doubt that I will lay the blame squarely on your head, Lily. Despite what you believe to be my ‘ignorance,’ I feel sure he will restrain himself with you, whereas he may well turn me over his knee!”
Lily laughed softly and reached out to take Alice’s hand. “Thank you. I am in your debt. If there is ever anything I can do for you…”
Alice’s smile wavered. “You can tell me why it is that all the men I like are unsuitable.”
Lily frowned. “Do you mean Jervois, Alice?”
The girl flicked her a glance and then sighed. “He is rather nice, is he not?”
“He has always been so to me. He is the son of a mercenary, I believe; Radulf relies on him a great deal.”
Alice’s eyes brightened. “Well, Radulf is rich, so there is a start! I have to marry a rich man, Lily. My father and uncle would never agree to anything less, but all the wealthy men I have met, I do not like.”
Lily clasped her friend’s hand. There was little she could say in comfort. In all probability Alice would marry a man she merely tolerated, at best. Being practical, Alice would make the best of it. Perhaps that was better than the risk of being wed to a man you loved and who did not love you. At least then you would be spared the heartache.
Love—now there was a dangerous word. Lily shivered as if she was cold.
Radulf stared into the flames, a mug of ale in his hands. Soon he would leave for his assignation at St. Mary’s Chapel—to meet the Lady Anna, that lovely viper. That very persuasive viper.
He wondered suddenly if Lord Kenton knew of the meeting, then dismissed the thought. Kenton might be jealous but he was a fool—he must be, to have wed Anna. Or perhaps he was in love with her as Radulf had once been. That blind, heedless love that concealed the beloved’s faults behind a screen of sickly-sweet perfection.
Radulf blinked down at the ale mug and saw that his fingers were clamped so hard about it that his knuckles were white and the soft metal had dented. Carefully, methodically, he straightened his fingers one by one. This was not a good sign. If his very thoughts could arouse such anger, would he be able to keep his temper when he met her face to face?
He would keep his temper, because he had to. He would meet her and tell her that it was over. Tell her in a way that even someone as self-obsessed as she would understand and accept. For much of his adult life he had carried this guilt and pain within him, and half of it was rightly Anna’s. He was tired of the burden.