It would help if I could stop crying. But I’m biting back tears while I watch everyone else getting pumped up—all but the lead singer and his guitarist.
Rafe breaks our gaze but continues to yell out demands on the phone and at the road crew. Shivering, I bite my bottom lip.
It’s coming.
The final straw. The nail in the coffin. The thing that’s gonna send me over and make me start screaming and never stop.
Cash is jumping around, stretching in a silver Adidas sweat suit. Thankfully, the rain isn’t getting worse. It’s sprinkling, and the stage is wet. Numerous guys are on their hands and knees with bar towels trying to make sure no one slips.
Rafe looks down at me, his arms crossed. “How you holding up? You look a little pale.” His voice is almost kind, but I’d rather he were a dick.
“I’m fine,” I snap at him. Rafe has never been my fan, so being nice tells me it’s bad, whatever it is.
I point at Renee. “Why is she here?”
Only women who are getting fucked by someone in the band are allowed backstage. I guess since she’s telling everyone she’s Rhys’s baby momma, she thinks she’s Queen Bee. Either that, or Rafe is behind it.
“Gia.” He looks down at me and sighs. “Look. I told you from day one, something like this would happen. I warned you, did I not?” I go to speak, but he holds up his hand. “This isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last.” He looks back at the stage. I grab his forearm, his suit feeling like silk, as I fight my need to beg him to help me.
“She’s lying. Right?” I need him to say yes, say everything is okay, that whatever it was on that phone call is not as bad as I think.
Just help me.
He frowns at me. “I have no idea, Gia. Rhys fucked her on and off. I’d prepare myself that it’s his.”
The floor rumbles as the crowd becomes electrified, but all I want is for it to open up and take me with it. Swallow me into the earth, just disappear, because my lack of sleep, no food, and fear that I’ve lost him is making me break.
The crowd roars again, causing me to jump as Nuke walks onto the stage. Strobe lights flash on and off and I think I might puke.
“Then it’s true. He fucked her?” I yell at Rafe who’s right next to me, his knowing eyes boring down into my head.
“Oh, sweetheart, yes, he’s fucked all of them.”
“I can’t do this.” I back away as again the crowd goes wild.
He nods and looks to the stage. “I know you can’t.”
“Rock Godddd. Aaaccce of Spades. Rock God. Ace of Spades!” they chant.
“Don’t make yourself any more sick. You look like you might pass out. I have someone who’s going to help you.” He speaks to me soothingly like I’m a wounded animal or hurt child.
I nod like a zombie, not understanding anything he’s saying except that Rhys fucked her and that he warned me.
“It was nice meeting you, Gia Fontaine.” My eyes dart to him, watching as he walks away. And I’m alone.
Alone with forty-thousand adoring fans.
“Gia.” I take a breath because this might be when I really do snap. His whore can’t really have the gall to speak to me. I turn and stare at her stomach as though I’m watching a car accident and can’t look away.
“I thought you might want to see a picture of his son?” Her fucking accent makes me grit my teeth as I look up at her pretty face. Glancing over her shoulder, I see her posse of bitches behind her.
It dawns on me that I never fit in. The whole time I’ve been on tour, not once have any of them ever smiled at me or said hello.
“What?” I yell, barely able to hear. Cash has taken the stage. His bass guitar is so loud my ears are ringing.
“Our baby. Mine and Rhys’s. I have my latest ultrasound photo, and I figured since you might be like his second mommy, you and I should become friends.” She shoves it into my numb hands as I stare at a black-and-white picture of an ultrasound, I guess.
Tears fall, and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t care less that I’m showing this woman my pain.
“Look, I’m going to be honest since you look like you’re… not well. I’m not going away, Gia. I’m having his baby. It’s only a matter of time before I’m back in his bed. Having a child with someone creates a bond that can never be broken.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” I yell, dropping the picture.
She cocks her head as if she’s trying to decide if I’m gonna fight, and like a dumb bitch, she has to have the last word.