“You ready?” Gia leans her head on my shoulder. Hunter is, once again, being Hunter, rambling on about how this was a true labor of love. I tune him out and take her hand. Her big diamond engagement ring sparkles beneath the chandelier lights.
The audience claps. Our loud music spills out of the surround sound system. The screen stays black as I hear my voice say “Fuck off” along with Axel’s loud voice as he screams, “We are the Dicks.” Cash laughs.
The screen blinks white, then shifts to footage from a video camera. The person holding it walks toward Axel’s garage. It’s followed by fast cuts of all of us playing, laughing, sleeping, and hanging out with various girls who always seemed to surround us in Axel’s garage.
Then it zeros in on me as I sit smoking in the corner writing something.
My hand squeezes Gia’s. She turns and smiles and my heart aches. I turn back and watch her light up the screen. She’s maybe nine with that damn camera of hers, taking pictures, clearly bugging me. She twirls in a red dress, her long legs and bare feet covered in dirt. Stopping, she places her hands on her hips, saying something that makes the girl filming laugh.
Then she turns and runs up to the camera saying, “I’m Gia Fontaine and I’m their number one fan.” The crowd in the theater claps as I look at her.
“Where did you get that video?”
“I have my ways.” She winks.
Axel stands in the middle of the garage drinking and playing. Cash walks over to him as they both look up at the camera and flip it off.
I can’t look away. I had no idea this would affect me, but it’s wild seeing the past. We all have come so far, yet here we all sit.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and look back at Axel. He leans forward as if he’s going to say something but doesn’t.
Turning back to the screen, I hear myself say my name while Nuke twirls his drumsticks.
I breathe in and exhale as music fills my head.
“I love you,” Gia whispers.
Love. That doesn’t even start to describe this feeling that eats me up inside when I think of her.
Hunger, craving, rapture. My heart pounds, and I almost rub it, if only to feel it beat.
My muse.
Everything that I love is in this room. My brothers, my fans, and her.
I take a breath and watch us all screaming and performing at our early gigs. My face looks haunted and dark. I was the boy who was destined to never love, the man who was cursed to be alone.
I’m called a Rock God. But I’m not a god. I’m a man who has flaws, but I was given my shot and I took it. I thought that was my music—the fame and money.
I was wrong.
My shot, my greatest opportunity was her, my chance to have something that will last forever. Fame didn’t make me happy. In fact, it almost destroyed me.
I glance back at Axel, whose draped his arm around his ballerina’s shoulders. He raises a brow at me. I used to be confused as to why he didn’t want this life, how could he possibly walk away.
Now I know.
I turn to Gia. She reaches to touch my lips and I smile at her. All my ghosts are gone.
I take a breath.
One. Two. Three.
I’m home, finally at peace.