“How long have you known?” I ask her finally. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I think, maybe if she talks about it, she can at least vent the emotions she’s feeling.
“Since the day he broke my wrist,” she says and God, I so want to beat the fuck out of him. I still might, but Callie doesn’t need my anger right now. She needs my comfort. I knew that her old man broke her wrist. That came out during the argument and is why I put down her boxes and went after him to begin with. It’s also why Callie got between us and asked me to back off.
“You should have let me hit him, Bluebird, at least once,” I mutter, drawing invisible stars on Callie’s thigh.
“It wouldn’t have mattered, Reed. I don’t matter to him. He’s been the only man I’ve ever known as my father. For eighteen years I’ve been in his life, and all he has for me is hate. He put up with me because I came with my mother, and he felt… trapped with a kid that wasn’t his.”
“That’s on him, Bluebird and that’s bullshit.”
“Not really. I wasn’t his daughter. Not many men want to deal with someone else’s kid Reed.”
“You’ve loved him your whole life. You might not have been his blood, but you’ve been good to him, you’ve cared about him, and you have helped him your whole life. He wants to hold onto the past and his anger, he has that right, but don’t let him off by saying he has a reason to treat you like he’s doing. He doesn’t deserve that. A decent human being doesn’t take his anger and resentment out on someone that had nothing to do with it—someone who was hurt by those same lies.”
“I guess.”
“Is this why you made me give you that promise, Callie? Are you truly afraid I’m going to change my mind here and regret living with you? Regret being with you?”
“You’re a good guy, Reed. The best, really. If you ever start regretting the two of us living together or being in a relationship, you’d stay. You’d do it because you felt obligated. I’ve already seen what happens when I’m nothing but an obligation to a man. I don’t want those same feelings to fester inside of you. I don’t think I could handle it happening again—especially from you.”
“I’d tell you that you never have to worry about that when it comes to me, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t believe me, Callie Street.”
Callie closes her eyes and I see tears gathered in the corner, creating a sad display that looks totally wrong on her beautiful face. I need to get her out of her head. She’s grieving the man she thought was her father. She needs something else to think about—or better yet something that will make it so she’s beyond thinking anything at all.
“Maybe,” she allows.
With that in mind, I let my hand drift down her leg and back up to her thigh. I lean my upper body over her, kissing those tears on her face, tasting their saltiness, letting Callie’s sadness mark me in ways that even I don’t truly understand.
“Callie, I will never regret loving you.”
“Reed—”
“I get why you are worried, and I can’t even be upset. I’ve let you down.”
She instantly shakes her head no, her dark blue eyes opening and their beautiful color almost glowing. God, I don’t think I will ever get used to the way she steals my breath.
“You haven’t,” she argues, but I’m not sure she believes it and if does, she’d be wrong.
“I should have fought harder to get into that heart of yours. I shouldn’t have accepted being in the outer circle of your life, Callie. I knew we were meant for more. I should have fought for you.”
“I pushed you away. I put the distance between us, Reed. I couldn’t even tell you why I did it now, but I need you to know that I regret it. I regretted it almost from day one, but you became my best friend, and I was scared of messing that up. I seem to have a knack for making a mess of things.”
“We’re in our own place. You’re lying in our bed wearing nothing but your panties and my shirt, Bluebird. I get to kiss you and touch you. I don’t see a mess here between us at all. I see heaven.”
“We haven’t even made love, Reed.”
“You’re not ready. You’ve told me that and I’m okay with it,” I tell her. I don’t add that my head is still a little messed up about Chasity and what happened. I don’t know how I turned into a man I can’t recognize overnight, but I do know that I’m feeling more and more like my old self, and I’ll eventually come out of the darkness I was in. I could confess all of that to Callie, but I don’t. I don’t want this to be about me and my past. I meant what I said to Callie. We only think about our future from here on out. Besides, I want tonight to be about her.