Ethan and Cress return during the last chorus. Cress slings an arm around her twin, and Ethan sidles right past Maria, lunging to steady me when I rock back on my heels too far.
His hands clasp on my hips and he says . . . something.
“What?”
The poplars down this lane seem to quadruple. I blink. “Did you bring the wailing woods back with you?”
I laugh toward the stars.
Suddenly the world tips and Ethan’s face is right there. Such soulful eyes. That quirk in his chin . . .
“I’ve got you, Fin.”
“Always have.” I throw my head back. “Pokarekare ana—”
In the distance, like down a tunnel, “I need to take Fin home.”
By the time we’ve walked back to the party, I’m feeling good again. I try to convince Ethan I’m fine, but he’s not having it. He makes me eat some toast and drink a bottle of water. Then he’s ready for us to leave.
“We’ll head back with you too,” Cress says. “Saves you picking us up in the morning. Right, Ford?”
Ford drags his gaze away from the half-naked orgy happening at the pool. “I thought there were lots of rooms here?”
“Ford.”
“Uh. Sure. Of course.”
We drive home with the windows open, and by the time I’m in my room, I’m serious. “I’m fine.”
Actually, I’m a little tipsy still.
But I do not need a bucket.
A shower though . . . that’s a good idea.
I throw myself into the bathroom, stripping with the door open. Naked, I stand at the vanity and brush my teeth. Then I go limp under hot water for fifteen long minutes, until Ethan knocks on the door. “You okay, Fin?”
I turn off the water and step out.
Calmly, Ethan hands me a towel.
“Where’s Cress?” I hope it doesn’t come out as bitter as it sounds in my head.
“She and Ford have gone to bed.”
“Sorry for cutting your night short.”
I move to my room, the hairs on my nape prickling. I know Ethan is following. I want him to.
I switch off my light, let my towel fall to puddle on the floor, and dive under my cool covers.
Ethan picks up my towel and the wet material slaps against my desk chair. “Night, Fin.”
No, I need him to stay.
“Shouldn’t you keep an eye on me? In case I drown in my own vomit.”
“I thought you weren’t that drunk.”
I’m not that drunk. “Shouldn’t you stay to be sure?”
His voice cracks. “I’ll check on you later.”
I stare through hot tears at the dark ceiling and count all the times I hear his mattress creak as he twists and turns.
A few hours later, Ethan pads into my room and slips between my sheets.
I turn on my side and he buries his head against my shoulder and sighs. “Feeling okay, Fin?”
“Better now.”
He reaches around me, pulls me into a tight hug. His satiny boxers shift against my dick and I bite my lip against a surge of arousal. I ignore it.
I’m just happy he’s here. That’s all that matters. I clutch him close, my forehead against his, my greenstone pressed between our shoulders as I whisper in te reo. I like this.
He stammers. I like this too.
His words sound like there’s a ‘but’ coming and I want to hear them again without that unspoken condition.
I pull him closer, sliding a leg between his thighs, flexing my toes against his socked feet.
“Stay the rest of the night with me?”
His lips brush against my cheekbone. His exhale slithers down the side of my nose and catches on my lips. “Tell me a story? You’re so good at it.”
“What kind of story?”
“Something that will lull us to sleep.”
“A boring one, you mean? Is that why I’m so good at it?”
His quiet laugh shakes the bed and the places where half-inches exist between us momentarily vanish. Satin and cotton and hairy legs against my naked skin.
It makes me harder and my dick prods his thigh, unashamed. It’s impossible to ignore the charge this time.
“I know something else that will help us sleep,” I whisper, heart ramming against my ribcage.
“Fin,” he warns again, like the last time. But he wants this too. He’s in my bed. He’s as hard as I am. Our bodies are craving to be intimate. Not just emotionally.
Ethan keeps shifting; he’s vibrating against me. His skin burns against mine.
Would it really hurt to explore this?
“Just once?” I whisper, my nose combing under his jaw as I gently thrust my thickened length against his hip.
Ethan stiffens.
It makes me grit my teeth. Makes my eyes sting, but I’m restless. I crave, I need . . .
Again, I thrust, arching my upper body against his.
Even though it saddens me, repulses me even, it feels like the key to unlocking Ethan. I whisper it in his ear, “You can fall in love with Cress tomorrow. Give me tonight?”
“Oh, God, Fin—”
“Please. I need you.” I roll my hips against him, feeling just how engorged he is. He gasps. His fingers dig into my arm. “Just like this. Just this once.”