Nate said there was nothing wrong with me wearing a halter top bathing suit and shorts. He assured me that no one would be staring at me, but I just couldn’t do it. I pulled a t-shirt over my bathing suit before leaving the room.
There are couples as well, but the number of women definitely outweigh the number of available men. I’ve gotten to know everyone’s name since I arrived, and I know for certain, Legend and Grinch are the only single men left in Cerberus.
“Everything okay?” Shadow asks as he pulls the last potato from my tray, placing it on the top rack of one of the grills.
“Everything is great.” My unease isn’t his problem. “I think there are more potatoes coming. Do you want them now or in a few minutes?”
“Give these a little time to cook,” Shadow says as he closes the top to the grill.
I walk away, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. I can’t even look around to try to find Nate because with as many women around, I’m not sure I’m going to like what I see. We’ve had more than one gathering in the last month, but it’s only been Cerberus people. I knew I didn’t have to worry then.
Once inside, I hand over the empty tray to Misty who immediately begins to reload it with more potatoes. I’m understanding the need for the industrial kitchen now.
“How many people are expected to be here tonight?” I ask, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“A hundred, maybe two,” Emmalyn says as if it’s no big deal to have that many people on the property. “We’re not currently under a burn ban so people are more likely to be doing their own thing. The years people can’t pop their own fireworks, we have a bigger crowd.”
I nod, praying we have a lower count, but knowing it will only take one woman to wreck things for me.
I busy myself organizing the trays on the counter so I can look outside, smiling when I spot Nate with a beer in his hand as he talks to Legend and Hound. They laugh, and it’s clear they’re having a good time. I know he can’t see me because there are blackout solar screens on the windows, but I wish he could. I feel the need to wave at him and let him know that the sight of him makes me incredibly happy. He’s had several beers, and although I’ve never dealt with an intoxicated Nate, I have been the lucky recipient of a slightly buzzed husband, and we had an amazing time that night.
But all it takes is one woman walking up to him to make my good mood shift.
She’s absolutely stunning with long tanned legs, and waves and waves of dark brown hair. Her lips are painted red to match her very small bikini. She’s gorgeous, her belly flat when I feel bloated more often than not.
And then he smiles at her, a knowing smile, a familiar smile. One he’s given me more than once.
It’s like a slap in the face, and my cheeks heat like I’ve actually intercepted that blow.
I’m not special. It doesn’t matter that I’m his wife. I let myself believe this was turning into more. I let the last several weeks wrap me in a sense of safety, let myself believe we have a future filled with happiness and love.
Once again, I was wrong.
With Cory, I ignored the warning signs. I didn’t listen to my gut, didn’t pay attention to how he was acting. I believed I could trust him, and it looks like I’m right back there, watching a man who has declared himself mine smile at a woman it’s clear he’s known intimately. I’d be a fool to think he’s been faithful or will be in the future.
I spin around, nearly running over Emmalyn as she brings another tray of sandwiches in my direction.
“Are you okay?” she asks, concern on her face.
“I’m not feeling well,” I say, and it’s the total truth. “I think I’m going to go lie down.”
She places a hand on my shoulder before I can escape. “Is there anything you need?”
I shake my head. “I think maybe the heat is getting to me.”
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll check on you in a while. Do you want me to let Apollo know you’re—”
“No, it’s fine. He’s having a good time. I should be fine in half an hour or so.”
I escape as quickly as I can, dropping my eyes to the floor so I don’t have to lie to someone else.
Chapter 28
Apollo
“I wonder if I could convince her,” I tell Hound. “She’d have to take off work.”
“I’m telling you, you’re going to need a little time for just the two of you before that little one gets here,” he says like he needs to convince me.