He laughs. “Well, you’ve got a couple more days left. Do you want to go back, have a look at some of them again? We can probably just slip onto campus. I doubt there’s too much security around right now. And if you want to go back to the first one, I can just show them my alumni card.”
“No, no,” I sigh, thinking about how much that will eat into the rest of the time I have left.
Two days. That's all. And then I have to go home, and maybe never see Oz again.
And even if I come back here, several months into the future, maybe Oz won’t want to see me again anyway.
“What are you having trouble with?” he asks. “Maybe I remember something that you can't.”
I look at him, raising an eyebrow as if I’m heavily insulted. “Are you saying that you were able to concentrate more on the tours than I was?”
“I wouldn't dare,” Oz says with a smile. “But I have lived here for a long time, and I have some experience with these colleges from previous visits. Maybe there is something I can add to the discussion. And, not to mention, as someone who's been through college already, I can guide you as to which factors are the most important.”
I nod my head. “That is why I asked you along in the first place, after all,” I say. “I would love to get your input.”
“Oh, is it?” Oz says. He has his eyebrows raised now, too, and I know he's just teasing me. “I thought you invited me along so that you could pull me into a cupboard and have your wicked way with me, and all of that.”
“Oh, I'm terribly sorry for ruining your innocence,” I say dryly. “Now, help me decide. Which one of them has the best Student Union?”
I don't really need to discuss all of this now. The truth is, I don't have to make a decision for a while yet. I can apply to as many of them as I want because I only viewed five colleges here and the application limit is five. Combine that with the applications I'm making back home, and I know I'm going to have a lot of choices. The question is, which of them do I really want to go to?
And while I don't have to answer that right now, at least it's something that I can do with Oz. Something that allows me to spend more time with him, feeling him close by my side. I'm starting to feel a bit pathetic already, given how much I just want to cling to his company and his contact. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be on the day that I have to leave for the airport.
When we finish talking about student unions and bars and campus libraries and all of the rest of it, I feel a little more anchored. Like all of this, talking with him is normal, like he's discussing my future with me because he's going to be part of it. Even if that isn't really true, it feels good.
And when he slips his hand along my shoulder to my neck, pulling me around to face him so that he can kiss me, I get this glimpse of something that shoots right down my spine. This impression of a future in which touching each other, kissing, talking about plans, is normal.
And the worst part is, it only makes me want that future all the more.
I don't know how I'm supposed to do all of this. Keep my head together over the next two days. But the good news is that when I'm with Oz, I feel like I can do just about anything. His calming influence makes me feel like I'm exactly where I should be, and it's hard to argue with that.
Especially when, instead of heading out somewhere for lunch or getting something from the kitchen, we end up falling into his bed, obliterating any other thoughts completely from my brain.
I spend the last two days of my trip at Oz's place, with all of my things moved over from the hotel and my reservation canceled, in kind of a daydream. I don't want to think about the fact that my time is almost up. Every time it comes into my head, I push it away.
When Oz asks me what time my flight is, I tell him I can't remember and I'll look it up later.
When he brings up the fact that I need to start packing, I brush it off, telling him I can do it in the morning before my flight.
When he asks me if I'm looking forward to going back home, I give him the briefest answer and then distract him by asking him if he'd like me to get him a drink while I go for a glass of water.