So be it.
I lowered my body down, pressing her into the mattress. Her hands tentatively looped around my neck.
“Are you going to forgive me?” she asked.
“It appears so,” I said.
She nodded, although I could tell my answer wasn’t as definitive as she’d like. “Will you touch me again?”
“Yes.” Then I stopped all conversation by pressing my lips to hers in a firm kiss.
24
Andi
The first time I had sex with Noah I’d thought I was dreaming. The next time it was like a dream too. But this time, I had to be dreaming because it didn’t make sense that he’d want to touch me after what I’d accused him of. What had I been thinking? I’d known he wouldn’t betray his family and yet I let Chen’s arguments cloud my judgement.
Noah had been angry, and I wished he’d confronted me harder on that. Instead, what I saw most was pain. I’d hurt him and that was difficult to bear.
So why was he kissing me? Touching me as he removed my clothes?
Whatever the reason, I held on to him and committed myself to making amends anyway I could. I soaked up his kisses. I melted from his touch, and then I turned the tables. I pushed him back, and straddled him.
He looked up at me and while I saw amusement and desire, the pain lingered as well. I leaned over to kiss him again, wishing I could kiss his hurt away. I wish I could take back what I’d done or make him forget.
I lifted my head, hovering my lips over his as I gazed down on him. My hand caressed his cheek. I’d seen Noah often over the last few years, but I’d never really looked deep into him. I’d fallen for the bad boy on the bike from day one, but had been resentful since that he’d pushed me away when he learned I worked for his grandmother. If that wasn’t proof of his commitment to her, I don’t know what was, and I’d messed that up.
“You’re thinking when we should be fucking,” he said, his hands gently caressing my thighs.
“I’m sorry.” The words felt so inadequate. So, I did the next best thing, I caressed his body, my kisses following my hands as I did. He sighed and groaned, and I was so pleased he was relinquishing his pleasure to me.
“Fuck me, Andi,” he said on a hoarse breath. It made me wonder if he needed this connection as much as I did.
I rose over him. “Noah.”
His eyes opened and looked straight at me. Only then did I sink down, taking him as deeply as I could.
He levered up, threading his fingers through my hair and pulling me to him for a firm, thorough kiss. I closed my eyes, taking it all in. I couldn’t know what was going to happen in the future. But in this moment, he was mine. He was inside me, pulsing with life. He should be rejecting me, but instead, he was holding me.
His arms slid around my back, holding me to him as his kisses trailed away from my lips, over my jaw and down. He sucked one of my nipples into his mouth and all thought flitted away as sensation shot to my pussy.
“Just fuck me,” he murmured.
How he knew I was perseverating on what I’d done, I didn’t know, but he asked me to push that away, so I did. Instead, I focused on him, sliding up and down, rocking back and forth
, taking in every groan he let out when I did.
He fell back, his hands gripping my hips guiding me as I rode him. His body moved with mine, rising and falling in sync with me.
“Fuck…I’m going to come,” he growled. “Come with me. Take me over.” His thumb slid over my clit, and any control I had flew away.
“Noah!” I cried out as pleasure whipped through me like a summer storm. It gripped my pussy and radiated outward to the rest of my body.
“Yes! Fuck yes, Andi,” he growled as he bucked up in his own release. We moved with abandon, riding out the pleasure until we both were spent.
I wanted to lay on him and take in his warmth, but didn’t feel worthy. I moved off and to the side. His arm snaked out, wrapping around me and pulling me to him.
I wonder what this moment was about. Was this our last hurrah before we landed in San Diego. I knew he planned to leave. He inquired if I’d go with him if he asked, but he never really came out and asked.