Carter opened the door, and it was barely opened a foot when Tanner charged out and launched himself in my arms. I picked him up and held him close. I had spent time away from Tanner before because of my work, but this reunion felt different. It was a reminder about my fear of losing him to Carter.
"You have to come see my room, mommy. Come on." He squirmed out of my arms, took my hand, and dragged me into the house.
Carter took an exaggerated step out of the way and drew his arm out to the side toward the stairs as if he were a butler letting us in.
I let Tanner drag me up the stairs. I looked over my shoulder to see what Carter was doing. He was still standing in the foyer, watching us as we went up the stairs. I guess he was giving us a moment alone. Was that good or was it bad? I shook my head wondering if I would ever stop questioning every little thing.
As we reached the top of the stairs, I realized I hadn't been in this part of Carter's house before. Like the downstairs was gorgeous. It retained all the elements of the original house, and at the same time was clearly a place for Carter, with décor from his travels.
"Down here, mommy. I'm down here."
Tanner led me to a room towards the back, and I wondered where the master bedroom was. If Tanner ever spent the night, I wanted to be sure that Carter would be able to hear him if there was a problem.
"Here it is, mommy. And look, we got some toys." He ran over to a stack of blocks that had been dumped out. There were also several toy trucks and cars. The room held two twin beds and was decorated in blue hues. There was also a window seat that I walked over and took a seat on. I looked out the window, seeing a pool in the backyard. The room wasn't necessarily decorated for a child, but as I looked around there didn't seem to be any dangerous items around. I wondered if Carter had childproofed the room, or if it had already been set up like that.
"Come see my blocks, mommy," Tanner said as he dropped to his knees and began stacking the colorful wooden blocks. I got up from the window seat and went to sit with him, and stacked a few blocks.
"What did you do today?" I asked as Tanner grabbed one of the cars and rammed it into a stack of blocks, knocking them over.
"We went to the beach and I met my grandpa. He was really nice. He let me play with the bucket and shovel that used to be daddy’s when he was little. And he let me nap on the beach."
"There was an umbrella there," Carter's voice came from the doorway.
I looked up at him and smiled. "I'm glad your father finally accepted the need for an umbrella."
Carter's expression had been tense but relaxed. Maybe he'd been worried that I was going to grill Tanner about his day with his father. But that wasn't my intention at all.
"And then we went to the toy store and I got these toys and then we came here. And daddy let me pick my room and I picked this one. What do you think, mommy?"
"I think this may be the best room in the whole house," I said, leaning over and running my hand through his blonde locks.
"Pizza is here if you two are ready to eat," Carter said.
Tanner jumped up. "I want pizza." He went running out of the room. I had a moment to panic as I imagined him going full force, head over heels, down the stairs.
Carter's hand whipped out, wrapping around Tanner's middle and pulling him up. "Not so fast, little guy. Remember what I said about the stairs."
I let out a sigh of relief, but tried to hide it from Carter in case he worried that I had been concerned about his ability to keep Tanner safe.
He hoisted Tanner over his shoulders and looked back at me. "Are you coming?"
"Yes, I'm right behind you."
We made our way down the hall.
“I remember when I was a kid, there was a movie-short related to The Incredibles about the babysitter and her having to put out all these fires the baby was setting with its superpower."
I laughed remembering that movie too.
"I felt like that a few times today as I chased after him to avoid a metaphorical fire or some other disaster." I was surprised that Carter admitted that to me, but then again that was how Carter was. Generally speaking, he wasn't a person to hide his thoughts or feelings.
"You get used to it," I said.
"I guess I'm going to have to," he said as he brought Tanner down and set him on the ground once we reached the bottom of the stairs. "I really like being a dad."
A rush of emotion came through me and I had the urge to wrap my arms around him because his words made me so happy.
"I like having a daddy," Tanner said, looking up at Carter with such awe and joy in his face. The next well of emotion was guilt that I had denied them both this for so long.