"Why?" she asked as suspicion rose in her expression.
I laughed to hide my discomfort. "It was just an invite. Where would you like to go instead?"
She settled back in her seat with her smug little smile and said, "I’d like to see your loft."
The roller coaster of emotions careened through me as I brought her into my loft. On the one hand, I'd never brought her here before, so was a little concerned about what she would think. On the other hand, I felt like I wanted her to be here, which in itself was terrifying. I expected her to look around and see a bachelor pad. A place where I lived in sin. But she was immediately drawn to the large window that overlooked the bay.
"Do you want a drink or something?” I asked, feeling the need to do something to help me manage my nerves. "I have some wine."
"Sure."
I looked at her, wondering if she was nervous too. I went to my wine cabinet for a nice red. I popped the cork and poured the wine, and as I made my way back to her, I turned on some music.
"You trying to seduce me Hunter Strong?"
"Is it working?" I asked as I handed her the glass.
Her blue eyes stared up at me coyly. "Absolutely."
We each took a sip of wine, but it was clear neither of us wanted it. So, we put our glasses down and I led her to my bedroom.
Normally there was a lot of banter and erotic talk, but neither of us said anything as we undressed. She lay back, looking like a centerfold as I pulled a condom out of the drawer and rolled it on. My brain was fired up with conflicting messages and feelings. Seeing on my bed, open and warm for me made my chest expand. I knew that wasn’t a good thing, and the terror of it made my breath stall.
She cocked her head. “Stop thinking so much, Hunter, and fuck me.”
Thank God for her. The tug-of-war dissipated and I was able to give my libido, my dick, full rein.
18
Natalie
The one thing about having sex with Hunter was that there was never any ambiguity between us. We each knew what the other wanted, and how the other one was feeling, at least physically. It was all the other times we were together that I felt uncertain about what Hunter was thinking or feeling. To be honest, I wasn't always sure what I was thinking or feeling either. Well, that's not exactly true. I did know what I wa
s thinking and feeling, I just knew I shouldn't be thinking or feeling them.
For example, what did it mean that Hunter had brought me to his home tonight? So many times it felt like he was trying to run away from himself and me, and then other times, it was like he was reaching toward me. Sometimes it seemed to be happening simultaneously. I wondered if that meant he was having feelings for me, but then I’d remind myself that it didn’t matter because he was going to hold fast and firm to his vow to never fall in love.
Finally, whatever torment was eating at him, he pushed away, and his strong body and clever hands were bringing me pleasure beyond imagination. Like him, I let go of all the emotional confusion and simply let our bodies do what they did so well.
When he entered me, I was both relieved and frustrated because while he was finally filling me, I knew the end was near. For all I knew, this could be the last time. For the last few times we’d been together I’d wondered if it would be the last time. And each time, I knew I needed to savor the sensations because eventually it would be the last time.
We came together in a rush of wild, frenetic movement, and then collapsed. This time he didn't scramble out of bed like he’d done something wrong, but he did look at his watch.
Then he rubbed his hands over his face. "Are you hungry again? Do you want something to eat before I take you back home?"
The fact that I was disappointed that he wasn't asking me to stay, was a sure sign that my feelings were slipping too far out of the friendzone. I also wondered if he was in fact feeling the same things, he felt the other night, but now had the panic under control, and this was his way of letting me know I wasn't supposed to stay. Either way, it was time for me to go home. It was a work night after all.
"No, I'm not hungry." I got out of bed and picked up my dress, slipping it back on. He got out of bed and did the same. It was so strange how compatible we were in bed. We were so in tune with what the other wanted or needed, but like this, we were so awkward and unsure, it was almost painful.
I pushed all that aside, and on the ride back home, I gushed at Hunter about how thankful I was for the opportunity that he'd given me tonight at the gallery. He assured me that he enjoyed it as well, and that he hoped that I would reap a benefit from it.
When we arrived at my apartment. He walked me up to the door but he didn't kiss me goodnight, which was to be expected.
The next few days, work went as usual. The only new thing in my life were the reviews coming in about my show. They were all complementary and within those few days, the local buzz about my work had filtered out to other areas of the state and even the country. A top art magazine contacted me for an interview as a rising star. In my office with my door shut and locked, I did a happy dance that my career was picking up.
That weekend the interviewer showed up in San Diego, and along with interviewing me about my work and my techniques, she came to my apartment where I showed her my makeshift art studio, and we ended the interview down at the gallery. Hunter and I both agreed that he shouldn't be at the gallery when I was there to maintain a professional relationship.
When the interview was over, though, I texted him to let him know, and we celebrated in the only way we knew how. This time we were back in a hotel room.