“He’s scarred too deeply. You know he told me he had a defect. That’s what he called it, but I think it’s what Mason has.”
“Ah, Ms. Edmonds,” the doctor said, entering Mason’s room. “That kid is a sound sleeper.”
“Yes, he is. Can we take him home today?” Three days seemed long enough unless he had a serious condition.
“Yes. We can confirm marfan syndrome. We have medication to help with his heart to prevent aortic dilation. He’ll need regular checkups about this. His eyes and spine look fine now, but we’ll need to watch those. Scoliosis isn’t uncommon in people with marfan. His chest looks fine too.”
“Do you need his father here? I think he has marfan too.”
“No. It’s not like we have to have a genetic match for treatment. But if he does have it, he can be a good resource to support your son. There are some lifestyle habits that are different and can be hard for children.”
“There’s no cure?” my mother asked.
“No. But we do have treatment and people can live long lives with it. We just want to be diligent.”
“Thank you, doctor.” While I worried what this meant for Mason, I was also relieved that his prognosis was good.
“We’ll get the discharge paper ready now.”
“Mommy?”
I turned to see my precious baby sitting up, looking healthy and happy. “There you are sleepy head.”
He reached out his arms. “Are you home to stay?”
I hugged him. “Yes baby.” Thanks to your father, I don’t ever have to leave.
11
Simon
The first time I kicked Erica out of my house, I felt like I’d ripped my own heart out of my chest. I hadn’t even realized how much I loved her until I’d made her leave. A few times, I picked up the phone to call to ask her to come back. But then I remembered her lie about the baby, and all the rejection and lies and betrayals I’d endured in life flooded back. From that time on, I’d gone through life not trusting anyone.
Last night, her compassion moved me. Not that I was a reformed Scrooge. I didn’t trust her fully. But I still loved her. I didn’t want to bind her to me when I knew she didn’t love me back. She was a mother looking out for her son, and while I was an asshole, I knew what it was like to have parents who weren’t there. I wasn’t going to be a party to having another child miss his mother just because I wanted to make a small town see me in a new light. Seriously, how fucked up was that?
And then I asked for a night. I didn’t want anything in return. All I wanted was her to be with me because she wanted to. She cared for me, I thought. Afterall, she did hold me and have sex with me. But sex wasn’t love. As much as I felt I needed her, the divide between us was too large to bridge. And so, I would let her go again, even as doing so felt like my heart was being crushed in a vise.
When I got out of the shower, she was gone. Thank God. I couldn’t bear to watch her walk away.
I called my pilot about flying back to Salvation. Then I checked my email. Most of the business stuff I couldn’t focus on at the moment, so I skipped it.
I stopped when I reached the email from Joe.
Re: Erica/Leslie Edmonds
Child: Son Mason, four years old.
Location: Children’s Hospital in Omaha
What the hell? What sort of mother was she that she’d be with me if her kid was in the hospital?
Reason: Diagnosis Marfan Syndrome
Discharged: Scheduled for today.
My heart actually stopped in my chest. Marfan. I sank down into my chair as I read that her child had the same medical issue as I did. What were the odds?
The truth was, I knew the odds. There was a fifty percent chance I’d pass it on to my kids. It had been the source of my parents’ rejection and taunting by peers growing up, which was why I got snipped. I wouldn’t put a child through all that.