“It wasn’t like that!” I snapped. “Laura was my girlfriend in the senior year of high school. I loved her. I wanted to go to college with her. We had made plans and everything. But the more you talked about your plans for me, the more I realized that you were never going to tolerate our relationship.
“Laura grew up poor with a single mother. She wasn’t what you’d have wanted for me. I knew that you wouldn’t accept her. And I was a coward, so I broke up with her, and I did it in the meanest way possible so that she wouldn’t try and fight for me because—because she’s strong and she’s a fighter. I knew she’d come after me and try to convince me that we could overcome anything because that’s the kind of person she is, and so I had to break her heart and make her hate me so that she wouldn’t do that. So that she wouldn’t meet you.
“And I get your anger,” I admitted. “I too was angry at her for hiding my child from me. At first, I didn’t understand why she’d do such a thing. I was angry that she’d keep that secret and that she didn’t come to me, because it meant that I’d missed out on my child’s life—and I thought that I had a right to know about him. But the way I’d treated her…I realized how much I had hurt her and more than that, I’d made it so that she couldn’t trust me.”
Mom frowned thoughtfully. “You could have told us about her.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I couldn’t trust that you’d understand. You’d say that it was just young love and that I’d get over her. You’d break us up and assure me that she was just like every other girl and I’d find and fall in love with someone much better for me when I was older.”
Mom opened her mouth, then paused as if realizing that there was some truth to what I’d just said. She turned her gaze away from me again.
I’d never seen my mother so contemplative or quiet. Usually, she liked to be loud, to take up a whole room. To have her act withdrawn was disconcerting.
“Besides,” I added, looking over at Dad, who looked gob smacked, “if she had shown up pregnant, what would you have done?”
Dad spluttered. “A pregnant woman showing up is just as bad as—this is terrible publicity—but if she’d come to us then—”
“Laura brought up that you’d try to take the kid from her, or try to buy her silence,” I said. “At first I was angry and didn’t want to believe that about you. But I’ve had time to think on the flight here, and I think she’s right. I don’t think you would have stood up for me becoming a husband and father before I even went to college.”
I glanced over at Mom. “I know you two want to be grandparents someday. You’ve always dropped hints to Della and me. So, I don’t know if you would’ve rejected your grandchild no matter how he came to be born. But you would’ve rejected Laura, or made her miserable.”
I sat down heavily onto the couch. “When the news broke, reporters descended on her home. And I realized that if you’d cared to have her in my life, if she’d come to us when she’d realized she was pregnant, you would’ve bullied her into becoming exactly what you wanted her to be and doing exactly what you wanted her to do, with no will of her own, just like you’ve done to me. You would’ve made her life just like it is now, with reporters everywhere waiting for her to slip up, watching her every move. She wouldn’t have been able to express a damn opinion that wasn’t already approved by you. Just like me.”
Dad spluttered. “You’re being ridiculous and dramatic, acting like a child over this woman—”
I stood up. “This is what my life’s
been like, Dad. I’ve hated every second of being your son. Because I’m not my own person. I’m just a clone of you that you are trying to mold into whatever you want me to be.”
“This is for your own good!” Dad bellowed. “I’ve done everything to give you the best in life, to get you elected, and if you want a career in this town, you have to—”
“That’s just the thing,” I said, cutting him off. “I’m not interested in a political career. I’m not interested in getting elected.”
The moment I’d said those words, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I heaved a sigh of relief. All these years, I’d been holding that secret back, feeling it grow heavier and heavier until it had begun to feel like I could barely breathe.
Now, I was free.
Dad stared at me. “What!?”
I stood up. “I said, I’m not interested in getting elected. I don’t want a political career. I never have. And you know what? I’m not going to have one. I quit.”
Dad clutched at his chest like he was having a heart attack. “We’ve had a plan—this is our dream—”
“Don’t be a cliché, Dad, please. And don’t play stupid. It’s your plan, not mine. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed how I’ve felt all this time. My lack of enthusiasm, my reluctance, my subordination. It’s all over. I’m going to live my life the way I want to now, not the way you’ve planned for me.”
“But—but the White House,” Dad said, in a vain attempt to get me to change my mind.
“The only time I’ll be in the White House is when I take a tour,” I told him firmly.
Dad ogled at me like I’d lost my mind.
Mom stepped in. “Honey, it’s okay.” She smiled at Dad and gestured at herself. “Remember when your father didn’t want you to marry an actress?”
She turned to smile at me. “He’d thought that it was a lowly profession, not respectable. That all I’d ever do was be part of some scandals, get into rehab and drag your grandfather’s reputation through the mud.”
Mom turned back to Dad. “But our marriage turned out wonderfully.”
She took a deep breath. “And I called the girl earlier—Laura. I admit I had some…poor thoughts about her. I judged her harshly and told her what she should have done. I wasn’t thinking about what it had been like for her. I don’t think I’ve thought about anyone but myself for a long time. And she stood up to me admirably. I haven’t been spoken to that way in years and I think I needed it.”